#its nice to feel thought about. but it made me remember when i got early screening tickets for Into The Woods and gave him an hour review

[butchyena]

mourning someones who’s not dead this morning. man.

[dambaepuff]

hey hi, could i make a request? Im happy to see another good author starting :) u also seem very nice. could i request a yoongi x preferably fem!reader? if you want you can make it a genderneutral fic. my idea was a scenario were one of them is jealous, i thought of it being her jealous of him, over something stupid, but not in a toxic way like yk just pure jealusy mixed with insecurities. And they have a little petty argument and like it ends with smut i mean they make up to eachother that way :P like smut mixed with fluff at its purest. also, i am really curious to see how u write yoongi, i see many authors making him cold and tough but i believe that he is a very caring softie haha, by the morning wood headcanons, i think you got him very well ;) thank u in advance

REGRETS (m)

Pairing: Idol!Yoongi x FEM!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, smut, one shot, request, established relationship

Warnings: jealousy, insecurities, a petty argument, depictions of sex, crying, emotional, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, bodily fluids, penetration (vaginal), a bit of praise, light biting, squirting

Word count: 5k

Summary: uhhh idk dude just read the request that’s pretty much it

A/N: UGH I LOVE THIS IDEA!! I don’t have much experience with writing angst so this was a really nice exercise. Thank you sooo so much for all the kind words, it’s what keeps me writing. I’m also a sucker for soft Yoongi so this is right up my alley. (Also this is not proofread so lmk if there’s any mistakes or anything)

Thursday night, it’s quiet outside. You’re trying to watch a movie with Yoongi. Key word trying. His hand has been gently rubbing your thigh for a few minutes now, whenever he tries sliding it up to tease you, you grab it and put it back onto his lap. He’s clearly trying to get you heated, but it’s having quite the opposite effect. Lately you’ve felt quite out of it, your lack of confidence causing you to avoid intimacy. With Yoongi being the gentleman he is, he always accepts it when he realizes you’re not in the mood and he moves on. However, you’re starting to doubt his ability to keep going like this. What if he realizes you aren’t satisfactory to him anymore? He could easily find someone else who would be all over him in seconds.

Replaceable. That’s how you’ve been feeling lately. He could have anyone he wants, so why you? “Are you not feeling it tonight?” Yoongi’s voice startles you out of your thoughts. “Huh? Oh. No I’m sorry.” You respond, your voice growing quieter with the end of the sentence. “That’s okay, c’mere.” He mumbles before pulling you into his chest, his hand soothing down your back.

‘Will he stay with me if I keep pushing him away like this?’ Is what you keep asking yourself. On one hand you’re afraid he’ll stop loving you if you stop showing him affection. And on the other hand, you’ve been so self conscious lately about your body and if you’re doing things right you don’t know if it’s worse to ruin the relationship by pushing him away or by not being good enough. ‘Do I even deserve to be with him at this point?’

Friday, 4:37PM. You got off work early today so you decided to stop by Yoongi’s studio. He’s still working so you’re lounging around on one of the couches inside of the room. The two of you had made plans to get dinner together when he finishes up for the day which you’re really looking forward to.

A short blurry figure appears at the studio door, they raise their hand up and place three quiet knocks onto the glass. Yoongi gets up with a huff and opens the door. In front of him stands a familiar woman, you can’t quite remember her name, but you’ve seen her around the company building before.

“Here’s your coffee Suga!” She says in a cheery tone. Her eyes land on you and her smile falls a bit. “Oh, I didn’t know you would be here. Sorry I didn’t get you anything.” She apologizes with a light bow of her head. You dismiss her with a wave of your hand before going back to fidgeting with the hem of your sweater. She turns her attention back to Yoongi who is setting his drink down onto his desk. “Hey Suga, a few of us are going to that barbecue place down the street for dinner and drinks tonight. Do you guys wanna come with?” She asks with a tilt of her head, her long black hair swaying with the movement.

“Uhh, yeah?” He looks at you quickly for confirmation to which you nod your head lightly. “Yeah. Sure we’ll come.”

Yoongi continues chatting with the girl. She casually leans against the door frame, the conversation between them flowing oh so easily. ‘It took me ages to be able to talk to him that smoothly. Why couldn’t I be like her?’ You think to yourself, trying your best to not let your irritation show.

He bids her farewell and sits back down at his desk. For the remaining time you spend in his studio all you can look at is him. Your gaze burns holes into his side profile, tracing each curve of his features over and over again. Why would a man whose heart only knows kindness, whose eyes and soul are so understanding of everything be with you? Your being is rotten with unforgiving bitterness, you seethe at every imperfection like a nun enraged by sin. Why would he want you?

He’s like a wild flower. He needs to be pollinated by the love and kindness of a bee to bloom, yet he stays with you, a caterpillar feeding off of him, biting off his flesh for your gain. Eating away at him and leaving nothing. Maybe you aren’t even a caterpillar. They can eventually turn into a beautiful creature with wings of eyeful colors, yet you can’t become anything more than what you are. You’re stuck in a vicious cycle, devouring every resource without paying any mind to the fact there will be nothing left when you’re done. What does he get for loving you if you can’t be of use? You can’t make him bloom.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N)!” You snap out of your thoughts, the reality around you giving you whiplash. Yoongi is kneeling in front of you, holding your jacket out. “Let’s go, we’ll be late.” You try to take it from his hands, but instead of giving it to you he holds it up so you can slip your arms inside. Once it’s on you he turns you around and zips it up for you. “Okay, let’s go.”

As you’re walking down the long hallways towards the elevators, Yoongi notices something odd. You usually grab onto his hand the moment you start walking somewhere together, but your hand is tucked away in your pocket now. He gently pulls it out and intertwines your fingers together. You can’t bring yourself to grip onto him like usual, instead you limply keep your hand at your side, letting him hold it. He’s a bit confused by this, but nevertheless he keeps holding you, his grasp only growing tighter in an effort to reassure you.

Yang Sunhee. Her name popped up in your head the moment she sat down across from you and Yoongi at the long wooden table. She’s been leading the conversation at your part of the table for a while now, mostly talking to Yoongi. To her credit she has tried to include you into the conversation a few times, but you didn’t really give her much to work with so she gave up.

You’ve been pushing your food around your plate for a while now. It’s mostly pieces of meat Yoongi placed down onto it for you, your favorite in fact. You just can’t get yourself to even place anything into your mouth, anxiety squeezing your throat so tightly you can barely even swallow your own saliva.

Sunhee is laughing at something, her eyes bright and her large smile hidden away behind a polite hand. Yoongi is laughing too, maybe not as hard as her, but he’s still laughing. ‘Why am I not the one making him laugh right now? Am I not funny anymore?’

As you’re glaring down at your food you feel a warm hand make contact with your shoulder. “You wanna go home?” Yoongi asks quietly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “Yes please.” You breathe out, barely audible. On the drive home Yoongi tries asking what’s wrong multiple times, but all he gets in response is a simple “I just don’t feel too well.”

It’s been a few days now since you had dinner with Yoongi’s coworkers. He realized something was wrong so he’s been giving you some space. To be quite honest you aren’t sure if the space is helping or making it worse. After spending the whole day quietly sobbing to yourself in bed you decide to see what he’s up to. You find him sitting in the living room watching some sort of documentary and looking like he’s about to fall asleep. One of his cheeks is squished against a pillow and his hair is going on all the wrong directions. He looks adorable, your heart almost breaks in two knowing this is who you’ve been pushing away lately.

Taking a seat next to him, he lifts up his blanket so you can use it too. Just as you’re getting sleepy as well his phone pings on the coffee table. Instinctively you reach down for it so you can hand it to him, but when you see the contact name annoyance squeezes at your chest.

Yang Sunhee

Sent a message

“Why is she texting you?” The question slips from your mouth before you can even think it through. “I don’t know, let me see.” He responds while extending his hand out for the phone. You peer over at the screen, shamelessly trying to see what she sent. “Ah it’s just the schedule for next week.” He says and likes the message before setting his phone back down. Now you feel a bit guilty. Why were you questioning the intentions of this woman? She’s his employee after all.

Yoongi’s large hand comes up to cup your face, his thumb gently gliding over your cheekbone. “I know that look, what’s wrong baby?” He asks, his dark eyes skimming your face in search for answers. “It’s nothing.” You respond a bit too quickly, your tone stiff. The corner of Yoongi’s lip quirks up. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

Your eyes shoot open, “N-no!” you sputter out a weak defense. His hand slides down to your chin, the grip tightening a bit. His smirk spreads into a smile which angers you. He thinks this is funny?

“Don’t fucking touch me right now.” You say in a way harsher manner than you intended, tearing his hand away from your face. A flash of hurt runs over Yoongi’s face, his smile instantly falling. “Don’t look at me like that! I just- I need a moment right now.” You say in an apologetic tone. “You need a moment? I’ve been giving you a moment for days now. What about me? I keep trying so hard and you don’t show an ounce of being grateful. What’s your problem?” His tone gets louder as he talks, anger evident in his facial expressions.

“Problem? Oh it’s a problem now that I can’t always feel one hundred percent happy? Go sleep with some happy drugged out whore then if that’s what you want!” Without realizing it your tone has risen to a yell, you’re standing now, no longer in the comfort of warm blankets on the couch. “Don’t yell at me!” He yells back, tears beginning to brim his eyes.

“You’re yelling too asshole! Oh you’re gonna cry? Go cry to Sunhee, maybe she can suck your dick to make it better if you can’t go a week without me sucking it!” The moment you finish the last sentence a silence falls over the apartment. Yoongi stares at you wide eyed, unable to form a single sentence.

He looks like a kicked puppy, his eyes watery and his hands trembling. Realizing you went to far the only thing that pops up in your head is leaving the apartment for a bit. You speed walk to the front door, tugging your shoes on quickly and pulling a random jacket on. “Hey, hey! Where are you going?” Yoongi follows you once he realizes what you’re doing. Unable to look at his face you grab your keys and walk out, slamming the door behind you.

Not knowing where to go you walk to the nearest park. Taking a seat on one of the benches you stare up at the moon. “Why did I say that?” You mumble to yourself, tears stinging at your eyes. Your throat contracts, guilt choking you. There’s no holding back now, you let your sobs loose, tears running down your face uncontrollably.

“(Y/N)? Is that you?” A soft voice calls out to your right. Your head shoots up, trying to find the source of the sound. There stands Sunhee, she seems to be in her pajamas with a puffer jacket thrown on top. Her hair is a mess and she’s holding a leash. A little white dog sniffs around near her legs, you assume it’s her’s.

“What’s wrong?” She asks as she sits down next to you. “Ah don’t worry about it.” You mumble, sniffling lightly. “You’re so pretty (Y/N), I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look good while they cry before.” Sunhee says with a genuine smile. “I- uh what?” You tilt your head to the side in confusion. “If I didn’t have a girlfriend I’d be jealous of Suga for having a girlfriend as pretty as you.” She giggles lightly.

“WHAT?” The question comes out harsher than you intend, the whole situation confusing you. “Listen, if you ever leave Suga just give me a call.” She says with a playful wink. You laugh in disbelief, your tears completely gone now. “You’re funny Sunhee.” You say, still sniffling lightly. “I’m not joking, but thank you.” She giggles along with you.

“Now why are you outside so late?” She asks while pulling her dog up into her lap. “I had a fight with Yoongi, I didn’t really know where else to go. I’m kind of scared to face him right now.” You answer truthfully. “Girl, have you seen how he looks at you? That man is a goner, I’m sure whatever you argued about isn’t that bad. You should go home and apologize, you can talk it through.” She says while giving you an encouraging smile. “You think so?” You ask quietly. “I know so.”

Even with Sunhee’s encouragement you’re still unsure. Guilt wracks through your whole body, pressing down on your insides and making you nauseous. You try to be as quiet as possible when you enter the apartment, but the sound of the heavy front door closing and jingling of keys betrays you. Just as you’re taking your shoes off you hear shuffling down the hallway. Yoongi’s dark figure emerges, you’re ready to hear something nasty from him, but instead you’re met with two warm arms wrapped around you.

“Thank god you’re safe.” He mumbles before kissing the top of your head. “I’m sorry Yoongi, I’m so sorry baby. Please don’t leave me. I didn’t-“ you’re cut off by a hiccup, your tears returning. “I didn’t mean to say any of that. Please, please don’t leave me I’ll never do that again…” You sob into his chest. “Shhhhh, I know you didn’t mean it, I should’ve done some things differently too.” His hand softly pets your head.

“I’ve been trying to figure out why you’ve been acting so weird lately and I think I get it now. You look at her like she killed your dog. You know she’s a lesbian right?” You can’t help but laugh a bit at that. “Yeah I kind of found that out just now.” You mumble, your fingers tangling into the material of his shirt. “Why don’t you like her?” You can feel him softly smile against your hair as he asks the question.

“I don’t know I just-“ You try to form the right words, but they won’t come. “Ugh! She’s just so pretty and she’s really open, it feels like she’s perfect and has everything you could need and I’m just sort of me? I don’t know, it’s stupid. I’m just projecting.” Yoongi listens intently to everything you say while he takes your jacket off. “Lately I’ve felt like the shell of who I was when you met me, you know? I’m just sort of bleh- and every other woman around me seems to have her shit togehter.” A tear runs down your cheek and Yoongi chases it away with his thumb.

“It’s why I’ve been avoiding having sex lately. I just feel gross and ugly while you… you look like you were sculpted by the ancient Greeks. You need a Hera to your Zeus. I’m like a satyr or something!” You let out a bitter laugh, trying to mask your feelings. “Hmm I think we’re more like Orpheus and Eurydice. Except I don’t want to lose you the way he lost her. They were such perfect lovers, yet there was something tragic about them. What’s love without tragedy?” He softly spoke, continuing to wipe your tears. You let out a genuine laugh and hit his chest lightly. “You idiot! You don’t get it.”

“I think I at least partially get it. I mean hell you make my knees weak whenever you look me in the eye woman, and we’ve been dating for years! I’d go to the pits of hell for you a million times more than Orpheus if it meant having a bit more time to spend with you. There’s no other person that could fulfill your role in my life as well as you do. I love you for you, you’re my muse. My light.” He places a ginger peck onto your forehead.

Love and desire suddenly flood through you, grabbing the collar of his shirt you pull him into a rough kiss. A few more tears make their way past your eyelids, but these ones of relief and joy rather than sadness and frustration. Yoongi gladly accepts your advances, kissing you back firmly. He barely wastes any time trying to get his tongue intertwined with yours. Your interwoven muscles becoming a metaphor for your souls combining together, the act of physical intimacy projecting your consciousness into one being, content and whole.

One of your hands shoot up to grip his hair a bit tighter than necessary which makes him release a deep moan. He pants against your lips, trying to catch his breath, but unable to fully separate your bodies. As he had endured yearning for you such a torturous amount, how could he let you go now?

He presses you flat against the door, holding you down chest to chest. His cold hands slide up your shirt, the contrast of temperature making you shiver. Caressing the skin of your stomach so lightly it tickles, he snakes one of his hands behind your back, swiftly unclipping your bralette in one movement. You let it drop to the floor, the only thing on your mind right now being the feeling of his body on yours. With his hands lightly ghosting over your breasts now, you shudder each time one of his fingers brushed against your nipples. Slowly he pulls your shirt off, the cold night air bites at your skin making your nipples harden. Instinctively your arms shoot up to cover yourself, but Yoongi stops you. He firmly grips your wrists and pins them down above your head.

Now fully exposed to him, he looks you in the eyes before licking a fat stripe from the area between your breasts to your neck. Lightly blowing onto the wet part of your skin, you take in a deep breath from the sensation. He begins to trail kisses down to your chest, letting go of your hands so he can bring you as close to him as possible. You tug at his hair softly as he mouthes at ode of your breasts, his tongue lightly teasing the soft bud. He groans softly before kissing down lower so he can get onto his knees.

He kneels before you know, unashamed of the submissive position he’s in. His teeth occasionally graze your stomach between sloppy open mouthed kisses. Looking up at you through his lashes, Yoongi starts undoing your pants. He pushes them down as if they’re getting in the way and moves his kisses down to your thighs. His uncalculated mouth moves dangerously close to your clothed cunt. Hovering over it he purposefully breathes through his mouth so you can feel his warm breath on your skin. You gasp when he suddenly pressed his nose against your pussy and inhales deeply. You can peel the tips of your ears heating up from embarrassment, but Yoongi doesn’t seem to care in the slightest.

“Ugh, fuck how I missed this part of you.” He groans as he kisses over the thin fabric. Finding your clit almost immediately he starts to roll his tongue against it through your panties. Your arousal and his saliva mix together in the material causing an uncomfortable need for real contact.

“Yoongi, take it off already…” you whisper to him, brushing his bangs out of his face. Looking up at you with a cheeky smirk he grabs onto the hem of your underwear with his teeth, making sure to lightly graze your sensitive skin with them as he pulls down. Your panties don’t even have the chance to reach the floor and his mouth is already on you again. He runs his tongue through your folds, making you instinctively angle your hips to give him more access. Heedlessly circling your clit with his tongue, he occasionally sucks on it or flicks it. You’re unsure if his mouth is glistening from his own saliva or from your wetness, but the sloppy noises he’s making are causing you to involuntarily buck your hips into his mouth.

“You’re so beautiful like this, my sweet girl.” He mumbles as he pulls away, nuzzling his head into your thigh. Replacing his tongue with his fingers, you let out a quiet moan when he slips them inside of you. “I love having you like this, only for me to see. You know I’d never do this for anyone else, right?” He emphasizes the question by pressing his fingers down against your sweet spot. ”Shit, Yoongi. I love you so much, no one makes me cum like you do.” Your response comes out in a dragged out whine.

Satisfied with your reply his mouth returns to your clit while his fingers work you open. The combination of sensations makes an orgasm built up in your abdomen fast. “Yoon- Yoongi, I’m gonna ah- I’m gonna cum!” You moan out, trying to warn him. This only encourages him to go faster as an orgasm ripples through you in harsh waves, your head falling back against the door as your eyes roll into the back of your head. You spasm slightly as he continues to work your cunt, trying to pull him away so he doesn’t overstimulate you.

He licks off your juices from his fingers, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. As soon as he’s back on his feet you go in for a kiss, leaning on him for support while still coming down from your high. He refuses to let your lips part as he leads you to the bedroom, his shirt and pants getting lost along the way.

“Lay down baby.” He mumbled against your lips as he led you to the bed. Kneeling down between your legs he made sure you were comfortable on your pillow. No matter how basic, missionary was always the best when you needed to express your love sexually. Parting your lips he pulls you down a little so your thighs are pressed together. He grabs his erect cock out of his underwear, not even bothering to get rid of the boxers. Pumping it a few times he gives you a dopey look, a lazy smirk spreading on his face.

“You ready?” He rasps out, rubbing the tip of his cock against your swollen clit, mixing his precum together with the aftermath of your previous orgasm. “A little too ready.” You replied, running a hand through your hair. “Mmm I can tell.” He teases while spreading the natural lubricant over his cock. Slowly he pressed the tip in, “Fuck, it’s going in so easily, o barely had to prep you. You really want it, don’t you?” his brows crease together in pleasure as he slowly bottoms out. “Yes, fuck Yoongi I want your cock so bad.” Your hand shoots up to grab onto his shoulder, biting your lip at the fullness.

“Please, (Y/N). Can I move?” He murmured, holding onto your hips tightly. “Yes, fuck me Yoongi.” You replied, grabbing his face to place a wet kiss onto his lips. He let out a low moan as he started thrusting into you, the warmth and wetness of your cunt feeling better each time he fucked it. You lightly squeezed your walls on purpose knowing it drives him crazy. “Oh my- ah shit I won’t last long at all if you do that.” He said breathily, his hips jerking forward involuntarily. You hooked one of your legs onto his hips, pulling him forward so he’s pressed into your cunt as deeply as possible. The both of you groaned at that, as soon as you let go he started thrusting into you with a quicker pace. His movements rapidly increased with each slap of skin that echoed throughout the space, his head thrown back. That look on his face means he’s absolutely lost in please and that makes you proud. He molds so perfectly inside you it makes all of your doubts melt away, it’s like he was made for you.

Matching the pace of his thrust to his fingers flicking your clit, Yoongi can swear he can feel you pulsating around him. “Ah, fuck (Y/N) I think I’m gonna cum already. Shit I’m sorry it just feels too good.” He groans, the already pink tips of his ears darkening. “It’s okay, go ahead baby, cum inside me.” You breathily respond, continuing to moan with each of his thrusts. He speeds up before abruptly stopping, the feeling of his warm seed filling you up making you clench around his cock. “Wait, shit, shit run my pussy please I’m so close too.” His fingers immediately speed up on your clit, furiously flicking it as your abdomen tightens again. As the hot white pleasure rips through your whole body, making your muscles spasm you hear a wet noise. Looking down the moment you can open your eyes you see Yoongi’s lower stomach covered in a clear liquid.

“Did you just make me squirt?” You laugh in disbelief. “That’s a first.” He mumbles before pulling his cock out, various liquids gliding down your ass. “I’ll go get a towel. He quickly gets up, trying his best not to make any of his surroundings wet.

As the two of you are laying in bed, your warm baked bodies pressed together, you feel Yoongi’s chest vibrate as he speaks up. “From now on, you always have to tell me when something’s bothering you, okay?” He softly says, stroking your hair. “Okay.” You whisper back. “Promise?” He questions while raising his pinky finger up, you lock yours with his, pressing your thumbs together. “Promise.”

[love-quinn]

— PARTIAL CREDIT

summary — when a new member of the waitstaff starts undermining you, you worry that your job might be in jeapordy. carmen knows you better than you think.

warnings — swearing, i think that's it

pairing — carmen berzatto x fem!waitress reader, semi (?) established relationship

pronouns — she/her

word count — 2.2k

note — i know i fully dropped off the face of the earth but unfortunately i was too busy channeling waitress reader a little too hard, i actually have to leave for work in a few hours but i really wanted to get something out. this 100% isn't inspired by true events or me projecting in any way, anyway i hope you enjoy!! <3

Being the only waitress at a successful restaurant is hard. During the dinner rush, between wiping tables, grabbing drinks and running food, you’ve slowly learned to be more adaptable to the Bear’s new clientele base. That’s not without its struggles, of course. 

Fortunately, Carmy and Natalie seem to understand that it’s a major handful to simply do your job. Which is why Richie thought it appropriate to call you in two hours early to meet the new waiter.   

Liam’s nice from what you’ve gathered. He’s been working with you at the Bear for about two months at this point, most of that has involved you and Richie training him, and he’s been very receptive to your instruction. 

Sure, sometimes he mutters under his breath when a customer asks him for something, but hey, they’re annoying sometimes. And sure, sometimes you find him in the walk-in on his phone, but you’d be lying if you said you were never on your phone at work. He’s had no complaints, and the work is always done to a standard that’s expected (he is still in training, you’re not delusional). 

You’ve worked at the Bear since they were still the Beef, right after Carmen took over. He realised Richie couldn’t keep up with the stuff at the front by himself, so he’d gone with the cheapest option available and thanked god every day that you weren’t awful at your job. You had just graduated from UofC and if you didn’t get a job when you had, you would have been pretty much out of options. You had no work experience outside of being a TA in college (which apparently didn’t have a lot of transferable skills, according to most of your potential bosses). You hadn’t been able to score an insane internship, you didn’t make super stellar grades, you’d been too busy being desperately poor and struggling to keep up.

You’d been really lucky that Carmen had taken a chance on you when he had, and you had been desperate to show him you were aware of that. Liam didn’t seem to have the same sentiment.

He was the same age as you, and he’d actually gone to UofC as well. He’d gotten a pre-med degree but wanted to take some time off before he went for his MD at Rosalind Franklin. 

He picked up on the work fairly easily, remembered when you showed him where the cleaning supplies were, showed him how to work the buttons on the till to ring in orders, and introduced him to all the staff. They were nice to him, nice enough. It took them a while to warm up to him, just like it took them a second to warm up to Carmen, to Sydney, to you. 

But now, several months in, they all got along enough that work was going well. You didn’t have to work six days a week if you didn’t want to now that Liam was there to lighten the load (you did, you made sure Natalie knew that). Now, you could actually take your lunch break without worrying they were being completely overrun. 

On the whole, things seemed to really improve. 

Until, of course, they didn’t. 

You started hearing whispers, soft remarks of “Oh, I did that for her,” to Richie about greeting table seventeen. Small “I wonder why that wasn’t done, I’ll just do it quickly.” 

“Not to be that person, but I noticed that a lot of the straws haven’t been stocked up. I feel like I have to do it every time. I just wonder what she’s doing when she’s back here…”

You do your best to not let it get to you. He’s never worked in the service industry before, he’s probably just doing his best to make sure that his efforts are being noticed. You were almost lucky, in that way, that you were the only real waitress they’d hired. 

It’s an unusually warm day as you slide in through the back entrance to work. You’re your usual twenty minutes early, lucky that there’s enough work to do that Carmen often encourages punctuality (and thus, fairly compensates for it). 

Liam is scheduled today, but he’s leaving after the lunch shift. You get your break while the kitchen does prep-work for dinner, and then you’re coming back for dinner as well. 

Marcus is in his corner, kneading bread dough with a concentrated look on his face. You brush past him with an airy hello that he returns with a half-hearted wave, not looking up from his task. 

Tina is on vegetables, and she stops you for a moment to ask about a shipment arriving. You assure her that you’ll check when you get to the other side of the kitchen, making your way to the front.

The chairs are already all down, table cloths clean and freshly washed. Sydney went down to the laundromat to get them all clean that morning; she’d texted you and asked if you wanted to come but you told her that you really, really didn’t. 

Your first job is a pre-opening sweep, then a restock, then a menu review. You have 87 minutes until service, and Liam should be here in the next fifteen minutes or so. You have just enough time to go and bug Richie into showing you more pictures of Eva’s last birthday party. 

You stick your head into the office just in time to catch the tail end of a sentence that you definitely weren’t meant to hear; “...doesn’t even stack the chairs? What is she doing here?”

Your work anxieties - the idea that every time something goes wrong it was your fault, that one missed drink or late appetiser would have you fired, that every time a customer berated you it was actually your fault - had definitely eased some in the six months you’d been working there. You’d stopped thinking that every time someone was complaining it was about you, but that meant that when they really were talking about you, you knew. 

Liam’s standing there, leaning up against a pile of papers that Carmen is staring roughly at. He looks tired - when doesn’t he? - and like he doesn’t really want to hear whatever it was that Liam was saying. 

“A lot more than you do,” Carmen grumbles. He runs a hand over his face from the bottom up, coming to a rest when it’s gripping onto his curls. 

“I’m always covering her sections,” Liam groans. “The amount of time that Rich’s given me her table’s drinks, it’s insane. We should start pooling our tips.”

Carmen wants to say a lot back to that. That his name is Richie, and calling him Rich doesn’t make him any more like the finance frat bros that Liam is so desperate to associate with. That tip pooling would be insanely unfair to you considering Carmy’s pretty sure Liam’s made less than what you make in a day. That he stacks the chairs because he likes to, and you know that. 

Instead, he settles on “you’re always covering her sections because she’s always covering up for you when you screw up.”

Liam looks like he’s unsure whether or not to go ghostly pale or beet red at the statement. “Wh- has my performance not been up to scratch, sir?”

Carmen stands. “I didn’t really notice it, at first, cause everything was going so well. She’d never tell on you, she knows what it’s like to struggle at a job.” He looks disdainfully down at Liam’s too-new dress shoes. Professional but impractical as a waiter. From what Carmen’s noticed, this is the second pair he’s ruined. “She’d never tell me that your silverware is never rolled, so she’s been staying late and rolling every single one of them. She’d never tell me that your tables are never cleared away. She’d never tell me that you had six meals comped in your first month because you couldn’t be fucked writing shit down.

So yeah, maybe you get her tables a refill when she’s too busy telling one of us one of your guests was coeliac because you forgot to, but that does not give you the right to look down your entitled fucking nose at her.” Carmen gets close, not close enough to the point where it could be uncomfortable, but much closer than he’d ever get to Liam if he could help it. 

“You don’t like picking up her slack? That’s fine, that’s fucking fine, because to be honest, it seems like you’re creating more work for her anyway. You’re done.”

He looks pointedly towards the door to the small office. 

Liam knows exactly what Carmy’s telling him. “Sir, I-”

Carmen raises a finger and points. “You’re fucking done.”

Liam scampers away so quickly he doesn’t even see you eavesdropping. 

Carmy knows, though. He seems to have a sixth sense for when you walk into a room. If you’re not planning on coming in to confront him about firing Liam then he has no intention of bringing it up with you. He sits down, putting his forehead on his fist. “Sir.”

You’re standing right in the door, it’s practically impossible for Carmen not to notice you. But he pretends, allowing you the chance to slip away and act like you hadn’t just witnessed him firing Liam for being slightly mean to you. 

He opens his eyes to see you standing there still. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” your voice is soft. The collar of your shirt is tucked underneath on one side, and Carmen has to resist the urge to reach up and smooth it out. He’s not quite sure why and he doesn’t feel like unpacking it. “He’s still learning, I don’t mind helping him out.”

Carmen doesn’t mince his words. “He’s a dick, don’t defend him.”

He swivels away from his desk and gestures for you to sit. After a second of hesitation, you perch yourself on top of the small surface. You’re not sure who moves first, Carmen to reach up and take your hands or you to reach down to let him. Neither of you have ever spoken about it, like a lot of things. How he always makes sure you get extra food and you make sure Carmen isn’t bothered while he sets up the dining room. 

You hadn’t realised how much Liam had been heightening your anxiety while he was there. “He’s not allowed to do that to you.” Carmy sounds genuinely pissed. “You do fucking everything out there, he’s not allowed to come in and treat you like some sanctimonious fuck. You… you should’ve come to talk to me about it.” He gives in. “You could’ve.”

“I didn’t want to be a problem.” You admit quietly. “You have enough without me.”

Plenty goes unsaid between you and Carmen. You don’t talk when he drives you home in the dark, in the snow. But he’d be naive to believe that the same rules applied to everyone else. The kitchen staff talks, none more than Richie. Carmy is surprised he hadn’t decked that pre-med asshole already. 

“You’re not a problem, honey,” he says gruffly. You stay silent for a moment before realising that’s probably all you’re going to get out of him. 

“I need to go prep dining for service,” you say after a moment, not wanting to speak too loudly. 

Camry’s grip on your hand tightens and for a brief second he feels panic set in. You clearly are feeling okay, so it’s not that he needs to check on you. You’re well ahead of schedule. There’s no reason for Carmen to keep his hand enclosed around yours. And yet he does. And yet you let him.

“Liam was just in here bragging about how dining room prep was already done,” he says after a short while. “You’re well ahead of time.”

“He is,” you point out airily. “I’d never want to take credit for his work.”

Carmen squeezes your hands once, eyes crinkling at the sides. You both know you need to go over everything Liam did in an attempt to make himself look better, not one hundred percent trusting him to have done it properly. There’s 56 minutes until service before Carmen finally lets you go (and only because he has prep he needs to get done).

Plenty goes unsaid between you and Carmen. You don’t say anything when he cracks his office door open for you when you need a breather. You don’t say anything when his station’s been cleaned for him miraculously while you’re waiting for him to finish paperwork.

Luckily for you, the rest of your coworkers seem to understand this time. Nobody mentions Liam or his absence. No one mentions the stars drawn on the band-aid on Carmen’s wrist. And, most surprisingly pleasant, no one mentions how Carmen has started calling you honey more than perhaps your real name.

It makes it even nicer when everyone heads out, leaving you and Carmen alone in the restaurant for the night. They seem to have miraculously developed tact over the last 24 hours, but you’re pretty sure nothing could have stopped Richie from telling everyone about the way that Carmen holds your hand the entire way to your apartment. 

[leconcombrerit]

This thing had been rotting in my files for a year (minus three weeks but that's basically a year). It was a redraw of one of my first ever pieces for this fandom, and I still find it quite okay if a little stiff in places, so I thought I might as well share it since I don't draw that much anymore.

And then I had second thoughts, which obviously led to me posting it anyway, as you can see, but I realized I've almost made it a point not to draw anything related to Sasi anymore. As in at all. I can't, and I don't want to, and even sharing old art feels a bit 'meh'. It's too directly linked to my long going art block.

What I mean by that is that if I took all the followers I have out there and asked them what they know me or initially followed me for, you might have a fair amount of Lis 2 and the occasional Desert Bluffs afficionados, but you'd get an overwhelming majority of Sanders Sides. Sanders Sides fashion posts even. I was by no means famous for it or anything, but at my small artist scale, it was the biggest success I had.

And it makes it much harder to go back to it at all now. One, because I don't give a damn about the show anymore. Two, because I haven't been properly obsessing over anything in a while (there was a series early this year but given the actual emotional distress I get thinking about it I'm ruling it out). I haven't had real engagement from my own brain, nor real engagement from a broad audience -which makes sense, I'm not posting for anything that will reach a broad audience. But it takes its toll regardless.

Even when I finally finished writing a long fic, I couldn't help but feel 'all this for what ? Ten people or so and two hundreds have dropped it ?'. Which is a bad way to think about stuff you write for your own enjoyment but, you know, the brain gets happy with external validation even if you pretend really hard you don't care.

And so it feels tempting to go back to the golden goose just the time to get the creative juice pumping back, and I try, and I always end up frustrated and angry and feeling even less like making art that before. I'm not having fun with Sasi. Like an old friend you have nothing to say to and yet you have so much to say otherwise, so you get a bit frustrated, you know ? Not sure I'm making much sense, but that's how it feels. I want to have something like that again, but it won't be with Sanders Sides, and I somehow just want if off my radar.

It was left hanging, then lost its spark, and then I stopped caring altogether and I most likely won't even watch the finale when it does come out. I'm over it. I wish I wasn't though, because it does feel like the artistic spark won't come back all on its own this time, and the buzzing community made it so much easier to bounce back and do shit when your brain got wired all wrong.

It sounds like I'm just bawling after love and likes and stuff, and I guess that's part of it, in a way ? Like I'm in no place to do things for myself, and seeing the one thing I used to use to get back in the flow giving me a bored sense of dread doesn't feel too great.

Yet this drawing is still good ! I find it good ! I don't remember everything, but I can tell from the looks of it that I spent a while on it ! It's nice ! I should celebrate that. So I'm sharing it. I think it will be the last piece of Sasi I ever share, though. I'm not watching the finale when it comes out. I don't care about it. I'll just keep doodling my OCs and characters from cool books every once in a while. I'll write little things.

I just really, really need to stop trying to go back to it when it's clearly not working and not even for good reasons. It was a fun ride though ! So yeah. Basically. A whole ass rant for a one year old piece of art. I'm in my bi-annual depresso mood, nothing too surprising there.

[sxfterhearts]

keeho dating a shy bookworm headcannons, i feel like hed be so sweet <33

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ highschool!au - theatre kid!keeho x student librarian!reader ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

♡ genre/warnings: fluff fluff fluff (i miss writing soft fluff and just writing in general omfg)

♡ word count: 1,171 words

♡ author's note: im crying anon thank you so so much for sending this!! it's my first ever p1h request and it made me so happy :") i'm sorry it took so long (life has been crazy lately) but i really hope this meets your expectations <33333

//

omg this is kinda giving our beloved summer (if you havent watched it, its my fav kdrama ever!!)

ok this might be cliche but i <3 highschool!au so let's roll with it

yoon keeho as a theatre kid (are we surprised) who practices his lines everywhere around school, has friends in every single class and is always being his friendly, extroverted self

y/n as a diligent, reserved student who is also a student librarian - you're usually stacking shelves or scanning books at the library after school on most days

your relationship blossomed through shy glances and soft whispers - keeho used to take note of the days you were on duty and purposely stayed behind to get closer to you

you were in the same english class - and being a theatre nerd, he was quickly intrigued by your ability to not only analyse shakespeare to a tee but also recite the plays word for word, line by line, without missing a single beat

keeho felt his heart speed up whenever he saw you in class, losing yourself in your work. in his eyes, you were always beautiful, but with the sunlight shining through the windows, illuminating your concentrated expression as you muttered to yourself and scribbled in your notebook - he thought that was when you shone the brightest

in the early days of getting to know each other, keeho would disrupt your peaceful reading sessions behind the library reception desk with endless requests of book recommendations earning many shushes from the head librarian

"i really like romance novels... what's your favourite?" hah, very smooth, keeho

you were confused, at first, because why was yoon keeho of all people taking an interest in you?

but then as you got to know him better you realised you shared more in common than you thought. despite your seemingly opposite personality types, the two of you had similar tastes in books, and music, and food, the list goes on

"hey y/n, have you tried the new bakery across the road? they're doing an opening deal - iced americano and a croffle for really cheap. should we try it together tomorrow for breakfast? only if you want to, of course..."

"y/n, have you listened to the new sza album? what's your favourite track? i love all of them, it's so hard to pick..."

"y/n, y/n, do you remember the author i was telling you about last month? they're writing a new book in the series! we should read it together when it's out, i wanna hear your honest review!"

even as a child, you were quiet and mostly preferred to read a book or draw and colour quietly while others played outside. this was both a result of your personality and also a few friendship fallouts that made you more wary (kids can be so mean...)

fast forward to high school, you retreated further into your shell, only keeping a handful of close friends. you preferred to bury your nose in your books and lose yourself in the fictional world of your favourite characters

that is, until keeho came along

the boy was as warm and bright as a summer's day. he had a way about him that just made people feel at ease. perhaps it was because he was so comfortable with being himself, that it helped others open up too

you were no exception. initially you were unsure of what to make of his unexpected friendliness and kindness, but you quickly realised that he was just a genuinely nice person who wanted to get to know you better

and you had to admit - after one too many mornings sitting on the bench overlooking your school field together, munching on your breakfasts and sharing an earbud each, listening to the summer's latest tunes under the gentle morning sun - you wanted to know more about him too

you could feel your cold walls getting dissolved by the warm, toothy smiles he always wore around you, and his melodious laughter

a few weeks into your daily ritual (consisting of breakfast in the morning and doing homework or stacking shelves in the library after school together), keeho finally made the first move

one morning, the two of you were nearly done your with your breakfast croffles when all of a sudden, the cloudy sky turned ominous and lightning flashed before your eyes

before either of you could react, the skies opened up, unleashing heavy raindrops all around you

"quick, y/n!" keeho grabbed your hand and interlaced your fingers with his. the two of you ran to the nearest school building, trudging past wet grass and muddy soil, staining your white school shoes

when you finally made it under the awnings, you both looked down at the state of your uniforms - mildly soaked, and burst out laughing at how ridiculous you looked

naturally, your gaze wandered towards your joined hands, and you slowly looked up, only to find keeho staring at you as if you were the only person in the world

you couldn't read his expression - there was a hidden intensity behind his eyes

he hastily unbuttoned and shrugged off his button-down shirt, leaving him in his white t-shirt, and promptly placed it around your shoulders to keep you warm

"keeho, you'll get cold, i - "

but he cut you off, "i can't help myself anymore, y/n..." it's now or never, he thought to himself

"huh? what do you mean, keeho? i don't - "

"i like you, y/n." he whispered softly, so soft that it nearly blended in with the sound of rain. he stuffed his hands deep into his pockets to stop himself from fidgeting

"what?" you thought you misheard, cos there's no way...

"y/n, i... i like you!" keeho closed his eyes and repeated again, already blushing red, embarrassed

you had an inkling that he was interested in you, but you never allowed yourself to daydream for too long whenever keeho entered your thoughts, for fear that you would only disappoint yourself. but now that you knew his true feelings...

you inched forwards and stood on the balls of your feet. why is he so tall, you thought to yourself as you bravely planted a brief peck against his warm cheeks

keeho's eyes shot open in surprise. it was so quick, his brain failed to process it. "wait, did you just - "

you giggled, eyes crinkling up into the little crescents he adored, and held onto his wrists before leaning in once more

the first meeting of your rain-stained lips was clumsy, as most first kisses are, but the two of you made it up with an eagerness that mirrored your initial desires to learn more about each other

when you both ran out of air, you laughed against each other's lips, basking in the tenderness of a new relationship, blossoming like a flower bud after a bit of sunshine and rain

"so... will you be the juliet to my romeo?"

"they both die, keeho!"

"oh, true... but it's romantic, right?"

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

As love and its Decisive Pain

Main Masterlist

I had some thoughts and had to write them down, so here we are.

Title inspo

Contains: Fluff, loving husband Ray, impact play with a flogger, bondage, smut (fingering, sex toys, P in V) aftercare. Not beta read.

2.1K words

Ray goes shopping

The narrow, cobbled stone street was one of Ray's favourites. The area, which was once a red light district back when the Thames was filthy and a loaf of bread cost a few cents, still had an illicitness about it, like the pleasure and vice still lingered in the air. Up an old set of poorly lit steps and left through a glass door into a store with walls lined with goods that would make The Marquis De Sade blush.

"Mr Smith, good to see you again. I was just about to call you about a new piece." Mavis, the woman at the counter, ducked down and produced a long black flogger with the strangest handle he had ever seen. "It came in yesterday. Nice thudy fall with no sting, and the handle," she handed to Ray as he approached the bench. "It's muti use."

The handle was made of the smoothest metal he had ever felt and it took up the heat of his hand like it was enchanted. "How much."

Mavis smiled. "For you, five hundred." He slid the money across the counter as she packed it in a fancy black box. "Anything else today?"

He shook his head. "No thank you, Ma'am. Pass my compliments onto the Leatherworker, they did some wonderful work." He left with a wave and a smile on his face, tonight was going to be delightful.

Ray did his best to fight back his smile as he walked into his home library. You were sitting, curled up on his favourite chair by the window and flashed him a warm smile when you set eyes on him. "Hello Dearest, I wasn't expecting you until six."

He smiled. "Micky let me off early. I got you something." He took the box from under his arm and placed it on the table. "I think you'll like it."

You took your time opening it, untying the ribbon before pulling off the lid and moving the tissue paper aside. "What's the occasion?"

"No occasion, Beloved, I just wanted to get you something nice." He sat next to you and pressed his lips to the side of your face. "Do you like it?"

You removed the flogger from the box and ran your fingers through the many tails. "Oh yes, I love it. Thank you." You placed your hand on his cheek and kissed him. "Can we use it tonight?"

He grinned against your lips. "Of course."

You return your attention to the implement in your hand; the hilt was odd, it was longer than any others you owned, with two sections separated by a guard, it was only when you took a closer look at the pommel that it registered. "Oh, that's interesting."

His beard scratched your skin as his teeth nipped your ear. "I thought so too." He took your chin between his thumb and forefinger and kissed you as his hand slid up your shirt, only when you were breathless did he pull away to speak. "I'm going to cook you dinner, then you're all mine."

The bedroom was pleasantly warm, as were Ray's hands as he undressed you. "You remember what to say if you want to stop?"

You nodded. "Poppy."

He smiled. "Good girl." The rope he looped around your wrists so he could tie you to the bed posts was soft, each knot made carefully for your comfort. There was enough tension so that when your legs eventually gave out, you would stay standing, your back remaining a perfect target for him to land every well placed strike.

To anyone outside the room, it must have looked like some lurid facsimile of a crucifixion, you standing naked, your arms spread open with each one tied to a bedpost, but it was one of the most erotic things Ray had ever seen. The brush of leather on your skin was gentle, a mere promise of things to come. "Are you ready, my Darling?"

You took a deep breath. "Yes."

The first few hits were soft, an easy warm up so you could fall into the sensation in relaxed comfort. There was a pause and his eyes met yours as a warm, calloused hand found your back, feeling the growing heat coming off your skin before his voice filled the air, already tight and filled with lust. "Are you ready for more?"

"Please." The next hit wasn't soft and it had your muscles coiling to avoid jolting too much in your bonds. He paused to wait for you to relax before delivering the next one, and the second you stopped tensing, they came in steady succession until he hit a pleasant rhythm that filled the room with satisfying thuds.

When he came around to your front this time, his shirt was rolled up to his forearms, and his pupils had all but taken over the pretty blue of his eyes. "So, do you like it?"

"I do, very much."

He smiled and scratched your heated skin, the feeling mixing with the dull ache of his hits and sending tingles up and down your flesh. "Good. Would you like more?"

You nodded. "Yes please."

He pecked your check before disappearing from view again and the hits began once more. Time grew fuzzy around the edges, like he had wrapped your brain in cotton wool and you fell into the support of the rope like a sailor falls into the safety of a hammock. Eventually he stopped, returning to your side as he ran his hand up and down your back. "I think it's time we move on."

He placed the flogger down for the moment and ducked under your arm so he could stand in front of you. The kiss he took you in was filled with lust and he didn't even give you a moment on control as he nipped your lower lip. He slowly ran his hand down your body, his fingers seeking until they reached your core. "Fucken hell, you're so fucken wet Sweetheart, is this all for me?"

He must have meant for the question to be rhetorical because there was no way you could give him a clear answer when his index finger circled your clit. He watched your face as he slid two fingers inside you, smiling to himself as your expression grew tight with pleasure. "You have no idea what you're doing to me."

He pulled away and your eyes popped open, and you watched as he stepped away, making his way to his bedside drawer to collect a bottle of lube. Each movement was full of intention as he picked up the flogger by the bottom part of the hilt below the guard and spread a generous amount of lube on the pommel. The metal was surprisingly cold, given how it felt when you first held it. He rubbed it through your folds and you felt him grab your face with insistent fingers as your eyes drifted closed. "No, don't close your eyes, I want to watch you feel it."

The second your eyes met his, he slid the hilt inside you in one long, persistent push. He paused for a moment to admire the glassiness of your eyes and the way your breath caught in your chest before slowly pulling it out and then using the same slow, steady pace to slide it back in. The smooth steel was unforgiving hard, and guided by Ray, it pressed against your walls in a way that made you feel unbelievably full. He changed the angle so the rounded head of the pommel pressed against our G-spot with each pass and mercifully, he allowed your eyes to close as your head fell against your bicep.

He seemed intent on torturing you, never picking up speed or adding force but something about the unrelenting pressure and hardness of the hilt increased the pleasure growing in your core regardless. He shifted, never letting go of the flogger and you felt him press himself against your back as he resumed fucking you with it. He was hard in his trousers and it seemed the whole scene was affecting him just as much as you as he began to whisper praise in your ear.

Soon enough, Ray's persistence began to pay off and you felt yourself grow closer to the edge, but as your thighs closed around his hand involuntarily, you felt his foot kick at you calf. "Keep your legs open or you'll regret it." There was no force in the kick, it was nothing more than a tap but for a moment, you felt the same level of helplessness that you imagine the men who ran afoul of him felt when he kicked them to the ground.

You planted your feet on the ground and forced yourself to keep your legs still. "I'm sorry."

He smiled and pressed his lips to the back of your neck as he slid his free hand down your body to run your clit. "Hush, just be the good girl I know you can." While the push of the hilt remained languid, his fingers were fast and the juxtaposition was as confusing as it was enrapturing. "Are you going to come for me?"

You nodded. "Yes, if you want me to."

He smiled as his teeth nipped at your shoulder. "Of course I do." All most as if by magic, you fell into bliss as he sucked a mark into your skin. It was wave after wave of intensity while he poured praise over you like you were Venus in the shell. He slowly slid the handle from you, and you heard it thud before he untied you, allowing you to lean your back against his chest as you found your legs. "Can I have you tonight or will it be too much?"

You shook your head. "No, I don't want to stop."

"Good." He took your hand and led you to the side of the bed, pulling back the covers and gesturing for you to lie down while he undressed. The carefulness was a show in itself, each item coming off slowly before being folded and placed down on a chair. He was deceptively large under his clothes and watching his cock spring free as he slid his black boxers down his legs had your mouth watering.

He shot you a cocky grin as he closed the distance and climbed onto the bed, manhandling you until you were lying under him. He leaned down and kissed you, his beard scratching your skin as one hand trailed down your body so he could lift your legs over his waist. He shifted onto his elbow as his hand slid up your thigh then between you, wrapping around his cock so he could line himself up.

He met eyes with you, his expression going soft. "Are you ready?"

You nodded. "Yes please."

Your eyes fluttered closed as he groaned, his hips twitching as he fought to maintain control of himself. "Fucken 'll Love, your cunt could kill a man." His whole body coiled as his hips started to shift, a rhythm that had the head of his cock brushing your G-spot with each stroke. You clung to him, trying to match his pace as he pushed you closer to the edge. After the steel of the flogger hilt, Ray's cock felt positivity molten and the heat of bare skin against yours had a comforting heat spreading from every point of contact.

His words had turned into a hushed prayer, said more to himself than you as he wove a hand between your bodies to rub your clit. "Come on Love, you gotta come for me."

It happened slowly this time, a radiating warmth emanating from his cock, through your core and to the tips of your fingers and toes. His pace picked up as he chased his own high, the hand that was on your clit curling into your hip in a pushing clasp as he neared the edge. He took you in a kiss, equal part loving and rough as you felt him pulse inside you, and his muscles faltered as his hips stuttered and his weight fell on you.

His forehead rested on yours as he caught his breath, gazing into your eyes lovingly as he smiled softly. "Thank you."

You giggled. "Shouldn't I be thanking you?"

He chuckled and rolled off you, bringing you with him as you rested your head on his chest. "No, you are the one that is so ready to give yourself to me whenever and for whatever I ask and I'll always be grateful for that."

You sighed and pressed your lips to his chest. "You're really sweet when you want to be."

He smiled and brushed his fingers over your cheek. "Yeah, well when you're ready I'm going to run you a bath and get you clean up then we can get some sleep. How does that sound?"

You nodded. "It sounds good. I love you Ray."

His lips were soft when he placed them on your forehead. "I love you too y/n."

Fin

[st4rd0lly]

𝐖𝐎𝐍’𝐓 𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐄 !

𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 @/𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘬𝘰𝘭𝘺𝘢 ’𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘈𝘜 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘕𝘪𝘬𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘪 !! 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺’𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳 <3 

@doukeshi-kun

cw : no smut just yet , MDNI still , slight implications of future dark content , reader is an adult in early 20s while nikolai is older , fem reader

A young rising star actress, gaining more and more popularity within each film you star in.

That was you.

And unfortunately for you, you had a very big director with his eyes glued to every move you make. Nikolai Gogol was a very prominent actor and director, he’s been in the business for a long time and he’s good at it. Almost too good.

There’s a lot of mysteries, rumors, more surrounding the man in general despite him being there for so long. Not much is known about his personal life or how he started to rise up. Most of the public just knew that he started off as a child actor.

There’s almost an aura of weariness that people get around him, but his charismatic and mischievous nature keeps pulling them back in for more despite their gut. When he walks, the people shifts and the mood becomes a tide dependent on him due to the air he brings. He knows how to perform and then perform, even when he’s not on the job.

It was only natural that he gained interest in a new star, he was a director after all. That was what most people told you. But there was just something off about him to you, though you never had an actual full conversation with the man besides…

-

“Haha, isn’t it my lucky day! An amazing actress with more amazing work, lovely meeting you.” The man stood before you, giving a small grin before shaking your hand. You’d smile back at him, shaking his hand too.

“Pleasure to meet you Gogol.” You said, your voice firm but sounding polite and friendly. He was a very attractive man, that you couldn’t deny. He was tall, he had pale skin, and pretty white, fluffy hair that was tied in its usual braid. His eyes were something that were easy to get lost into, a green that’s rich like emerald and a shade of a blue that paints the sky. 

Not to mention, the scar that sits on top with a nicely put together outfit. The red tint of his lips made a nice contrast and you couldn’t help but feel a slight dread to hear him speak again for some reason.

“Oh please dear, do call me Nikolai. No need for last names.” He reassures, the smile on his face grew wider, letting out a small chuckle. You felt your chest tighten. Did everyone feel so off when talking to him? 

“Director!”

“Ah, I have to get going. I’ll see you around yeah darl?”

“Of course.”

-

And that was the last you’ve talked to him. It was a while ago, back at an event for god knows what. You’d been to too many for your liking. You still remember the moments where he was glancing at you ever so subtly. 

But now your team came to you with an opportunity, an opportunity to act with him.

-

“It’s a really good chance for you to really get out there. Gogol is one of the best, he’s directing and acting and! He’ll be a great guidance.” Your manager told you, you nodded your head but pursed your lips into a thin line in thought. 

“I don’t know…” You sighed, bouncing your knee while you sat. 

“You’re already gaining a lot of popularity, a boost wouldn’t hurt. You’ve got great skills and a good mindset. You mind if I ask why you’re hesitating?” 

‘Because he’s off! There’s something off about him!’

“Guess I’m just… a little intimidated is all. Don’t get me wrong, I know this is pretty rare for newbies to get invited into such a huge project by someone like him. But I just—”

“He’s been one of your supporters since the start, it’s a good thing he’s interested in you. I get it, it might be overwhelming but that’s just how the industry is. —With that being said, it’s still ultimately your choice.”

You bit your inner cheek. It would be rude to decline an offer from a big shot like him, especially when he’s been supporting your work you figured. And it doesn’t hurt to be curious about him too, only way to figure out more about him is…

“Let him know I accept then.”

‘We’ll see how this goes.’

-

The past few days working with Nikolai, your co-stars, and staff have all went well so far. Your manager was right, so far at least. You were still somewhat skeptical. He was great at guiding people in the right direction. Not only was he easy to talk to but he was friendly, very friendly. 

Almost a little too friendly to you, but you shrugged it off. It must because you’re still somewhat new to the acting scene. You still weren’t sure how to feel.

“Hey darl, how’s my favorite star holding up?” Nikolai’s cheery voice snapped you out of your thoughts, his hand placed on the low of your back. You didn’t think much of it and you smiled at him politely.

“A bit tired but nothing I can’t handle. I’m excited to run upcoming scenes.” You told him, eating a strawberry that they had out on the food table for lunch. You managed to grab a few before they ran out. Your manager always told you it wasn’t good to act with completely empty stomach. He let out a small chuckled, nodding his head.

“Yes, yes! I’m glad you’re having fun dear.” He grinned, but then his eyes trailed to your lips. “Are the strawberries sweet?” He asked, keeping the cheerful expression on his face.

“Yeah, they’re sweeter than I expected. I really like these.” You responded genuinely, grabbing another one. 

“Let me have a taste.” He said, leaning down and eating the strawberry from your hand to his mouth. You were surprised, not expecting him to do something like that so casually. 

‘He smells sweet.’

‘….And his hands are really nice.’

You looked at him still with a surprised expression, letting out a small laugh when you saw his focused face on tasting the the strawberry. You were aware he was probably doing this to make you feel more comfortable and light hearted. At least that’s what you thought to make of his actions.

‘Wait, did I just say he smells sweet? In my head?’

“Yes—”

“Huh?” You cut him off, snapping out of your head. Worried that you had said your thoughts out loud, you turn your face to his more directly. He raises a brow at you, an amused look on his face.

“I was about to say, yes you are right. They are pretty sweet but it looks like you have something on your mind honey.” He tells you, nothing ever goes unnoticed by him.

“O-Oh! It’s nothing, sorry I was just thinking about something random.” You try to explain, there’s no way you’re going to explain what you thought about him to him. That was weird. He’s weird… okay but maybe you’re weird too for thinking that of him-

“You always look so tense around me darling, you always have something on your mind don’t you?” He chuckles. “Dim your worried thoughts pretty thing. I’m not gonna bite you.” 

…Okay yeah he is weird.

But for some reason, your cheeks feel like they were growing warmer. 

“Unless you want me too.”

You didn’t quite catch what he said that moment, so now it was your turn to look at him a little amused snd confused. 

“What was that?”

“Oh nothing nothing dear!” He rubs the inner of your wrist quickly with his thumb, standing back up straight and patting you on the back. He let out a small light hearted laugh. “Oh you’re so cute. Relax okay? This is your first time working with a huge director isn’t it? —Ah maybe that sounds too arrogant of me. I’m just rather familiar with the position is all.” 

“Y-Yeah it is, you know just wanna do my best.” You stammer a bit, nodding your head in agreement.

“You’re already doing so good for me sweetheart, you’re gonna be just fine.” He reassures you, he was a little too good at eye contact. “Actually, you know what? Say, are you free after the shoot?”

You blink.

Where did this come from? What did he plan to do? Why was he asking? You had to come up with an answer. Quick. There wasn’t any time to think-

“Uh, you know I think I am? I don’t usually have anything planned after shoots.”

‘Fuck. What was that?’ 

You internally started cursing at yourself. You initially planned to deny, a thing your gut was screaming at you to do. But you couldn’t think right when he looked at you. It almost seemed sly in the way he smirked.

“How about this? After this shoot is done, go home and get dressed. Come over to my place for dinner yeah darl? I’ll give you some advice, I would just tell you now but we have to run the next scene in about 30? And I don’t wanna stay at the studio much longer after. What do you say?” He asks, tilting his head ever so slightly.

‘There’s no backing out now..’

“Sure, that sounds good to me.” You gave him a sheepish smile. A grin was too swift to grow on his face before relaxing into a casual smile. He reached for his phone, it was different from the usual phone he uses. It must’ve been a personal phone. You figured you should grab your own too.

“Here you go.” He says, handing you his phone and swapping with you. You both take a few moments to put in your numbers and for some reason, you feel as if you’ve greatly messed up. You both swapped the phones back. “There’s my number, give me a call before you’re on your way dear.”

“Okay, I will. Thank you.” You told him, now somewhat nervous to look up at him again.

“Gogol! Makeup touch ups!” A staff called out for him, your makeup artist was also probably looking for you.

“I’ll be seeing you later.” He winks at you, walking away. You let out a small laugh, nervous. You finished the strawberry off quickly, tossing it into the trash before walking off to find your makeup artist.

This is too weird.

dividers : @/cafekitsune

[sleep-0-deprived]

Male yosano x Male reader, their first date and male yosano being male reader’s gay awakening.

Male Yosano x male reader first date~! (kinda short but I hope you like cause I had fun writing it) ૮꒰๑´ ᵕˋ๑꒱ა

WC:. 930

Tags: just mostly tooth rotting fluff, picnic dates, sexuality realization, first time boyfriends, vulnerable male reader ‹𝟹

A/N: I actually really liked this! I don’t do much fluff but every one needs some fluff in their lives ⋆｡‧˚ʚ 🍒ɞ˚‧｡⋆

You sat on a subway train, sunlight streaming into your window shining next to where you sat. You kept running the thumb pad over your thigh trying to think about something else other than the fact you got asked out on a date by your purple haired co worker— well maybe it’s not even a date? He never specified that. What if it’s not a date and you were just reading it all wrong?

All you could think about was “is this a date or not! Do I want it to be a date?” You started over thinking everything that could happen, everything you wanted to happen. Feeling sick in your gut like you swallowed butterfly’s. The thought of this not being a date made your heart flair and swell before clenching up with sadness making you ready to burst like a water balloon being thrown.

Before anymore thoughts could fizz out the train had made its stop, standing up blank minded like a zombie walking past all of the other passengers getting off and onto the platform taking a deep breath in of japans spring air. The smell of baked goods at the cafe around the corner- the smell of the ripe peach trees on the outer edge of the city somehow felt innocent to you.

Then you saw him, Yosano standing with a smile at the other end of the platform holding a beige basket and a bouquet of perfectly bloomed daisy’s with cherry blossoms for accent setting a pink and white theme. “I hope I’m not late Yosano” a sheepish smile graced your face standing in an average pair of jeans and a light colored sweater.

“You’re fine [name], I was just early is all!” The purple haired man just smiled at you idly before handing you the flowers “I didn’t know what flowers you’d like so I just got the ones that reminded me of you most” taking the flowers from his hand as he guides you out of the train station area

Walking down the side walk of Yokohama with the sun hanging midway in the sky above whilst the clouds flowed by, Yosano’s hand holding the basket of the assorted food while reaching another hand over to hold yours. You feel giddy inside and embarrassed too as he makes a turn taking you into an older looking park.

The park was well kept but not pristine, a mother and daughter on a bench while a dog owner played with his dog but Yosano knew the perfect little spot for the two of you. Down a narrow little path behind the park where a bunch of grown up vines and tall weeds stood he’d pull you along to a secluded spot by the river bay sitting next to a tall oak tree just out of view from the rest of the park.

“This is a nice spot” you try to start a conversation and get your mind off of the internal panic you were having, Yosano putting down a blanket on the grass for the two of you with before sitting his picnic basket down in the middle taking a seat next to it and looking up at you “yeah, I remember in high school I used to go to this park a lot, when I found this spot it became my own little sanctuary”

“Sorry if this seems random, but what exactly is this?..what are we even?” You blurt out unable to take it feeling on edge looking at Yosano when you sit down on the blanket watching him silently when he sits right across from you. I mean sure you and him work

Closely together, ear lunch in the armed detective agency together, share sideway glances from your cubical when no one can see, but that didn’t mean anything right? You always thought of it as an admiration for your work senior but you couldn’t deny the thought of being more felt comforting.

“Well it’s a date obviously, and as for what are we, I hope by the end of the day you’ll say you’re my boyfriend” the purplette says with a confident smile while opening up the picnic basket and getting all the food he packed out. A trey of rice balls and various small sandwiches sitting on trees when he sits them on the top of the picnic basket and sits them between the two of you.

“I’ve never been with a man before Yosano, I don’t even know if I like men….but something about you makes me go crazy” you whisper out in return looking at him while reaching for a rice ball and taking a bite silently not knowing you just described a crush to him. “Well whatever we are or aren’t, I’d like to be something with you and I’m willing to take as long as we need to work [name]”

Yosano placed his hand on top of the hand resting in your lap and rubs his thumb over the knuckle quietly comforting you and being calm about the confusion. “I think I wanna try dating Yosano, you mean a lot t’me and I think I like you more than friendly” the sound of a small clap came from Yosano.

“We’ll take things slow all right baby? I want you to be comfortable” he coos gently to you just smiling softly and staying close to you for the rest of the time. Conversation after conversation making you forget why you ever doubted it. Yosano has a way of rubbing off his confidence onto you easing your nerves.

“Thank you Yosano”

[singmyaubade]

cinnamon girl

fwb!james potter x female!reader

summary: there are things i want to say to you but i'll just let you live.

word count: 2.2k

warning: mentions of smut and angst.

FIRST CHAPTER: VIOLET

Being friends with benefits with James Potter wasn't the easiest nor the most boring. You didn't even fully understand how you got into this predicament.

All you remember is James's obvious charm and his humor which had always enchanted you and he was always quick with his tongue.

The only problem was you were falling in love with him.

You had warned him this would happen but he had always thought you were talking about him which he assured you, he wouldn't.

You both were an outlet for all of your bullshit and problems, what made it worse was that you were friends with all of the Marauders, hanging out with them every day.

All of these thoughts passed as you were laying in his bed at this very second. You were stopped when you heard him groan, "Mmm, good morning." He smirked, kissing your neck delicately.

You gave him a polite smile, sitting up while you fiddled with your fingers, "James, I think we need to ta-" You attempted.

"Too early for talking," He moaned into his pillow, "Did you wanna get breakfast?" He asked, rising up.

You rolled your eyes, "Sure."

He gasped, "Did you just roll your eyes at me?" He looked at you with daring eyes.

"Don't." You giggled as he lunged forward, tickling you as you pleaded, trying to grasp air.

"Come on, say it!" He yelled, tickling you.

"Uncle! Uncle!" You screamed as he stood on his knees, flexing.

You kicked his stomach slightly as he toppled over you, "Dirty play." He groaned.

"Curse Remus for teaching you that saying." You whined.

"You are only mad because I can take you down." He boasted as you scoffed, remembering his body on top of you.

You tried pushing his body off of you, "Jesus lay off the bread Potter."

He pinned your arms to the sheets, looking at you as you grew flustered, "You know you like me a little chubby." He winked, kissing your lips harshly.

You could feel his entire being, the smell of home and butterbeer. He felt like warmth on a rainy day or running through a field of flowers.

He lifted his head, breaking the kiss, "Guess what?" He asked.

You smiled, "What?"

"Lily actually talked to me yesterday," Your smile fell, "I mean she actually talked to me! Not even an insult but she asked how Quidditch was going, and she initiated it!" He excitingly said, still on top of you.

"Good for you James." You tried your best to sound happy.

He grinned brighter, "And we might even go on a date, I mean Dorcas said Lily was actually considering it." A pang in your heart, "Isn't that amazing?" He laughed in pure happiness.

"Yes, it is James, congratulations." You simply said.

He said nothing more but instead kissed you in response.

He pulled back, "I'm just gonna go take a quick shower then we can meet the boys downstairs." He stood, "You know I do miss them but I do not miss sharing a room with them and I'm sure you don't either." He winked, grabbed his towel, and left for the washroom.

James being a prefect had its perks like a new room and being able to not wake up to a bunch of ruckuses by the rest of the Marauders.

But it didn't help with your heart, hanging out with him more often and having sex more often.

You knew James wasn't using you, you knew that he thought you wanted it too which you did but, you wanted all of James.

You wanted the label, you pleaded for it.

But you knew it would only complicate things and James was a boy, he wouldn't know what to do if you told him how you truly felt about him.

You just wished you had never agreed to this in the first place. Remus had advised you not to and you knew he was right but the way James treated you, it felt nice.

He never neglected to tell you how beautiful you were or how grateful he was to have you, even telling you that he 'loved' you.

You knew he loved you but not in the way that you loved him.

He always showered you with kisses and affection. On Valentines Day, he even got you an entire bouquet of chocolate roses. And on Christmas, he got you a perfume that smelled of everything you loved.

Lavender, peaches, violet, him.

You wished life could be easier.

You knew that in another universe, you and James probably had three kids, all of them running around like crazy while James chased them around and you baked chocolate muffins and smiled brightly about your life.

You could only wish it would happen in this one.

You chose to stop pondering on things that aren't real and get ready for classes.

During the walk to the dining hall, James could not stop talking about Lily and how he was excited that she was finally noticed him in a good way.

"Are we still on for tonight?" He asked, "I was thinking we could sneak into the kitchens, just us."

"Yeah sure." You said.

"It's a date." He joked, wrapping his arm around you. You did an awkward laugh before sitting down in the middle of James and Remus with Peter and Sirius across from you all.

"About time," Sirius exasperated, "I know you guys like fucking but it's taking a toll on me."

You rolled your eyes, throwing a piece of bread at him, "Don't be mad because you don't get laid." You said, grabbing an apple.

"Y/n, I think you forgot who you are talking to." He scoffed.

You shook your head, putting some eggs on your plate as James started telling Sirius and Peter about Lily. Remus looked at you in tiredness.

"There is no way you haven't told him how you felt yet." He whispered.

You shushed him despite the fact of James being next to you, "There is nothing to tell." You whispered.

"Mhm." He hummed.

A bell signaled everyone to get to their classes as you started going, "Y/n, let me walk you!" James yelled.

"James, we have the same class as the rest of the boys." You giggled.

"I was trying to be romantic." He pouted as you hit him softly with your shoulder.

Romantic? That made absolutely no sense but that was his beautiful humor.

You felt a hand on your waist as you looked at James, his expression didn't falter, still laughing at a joke he had made.

You liked that he could comforately do that without caring if people thought you guys were a couple or not but you knew it meant nothing to him, just a friendly thing.

"So Y/n," Sirius wrapped his arm around you as James moved his own hand off, looking a bit pissed off, "Are you going to sit with me today?" He asked, giving you a not-so subtle wink.

You played along, "What do I get out of it Black?" You smirked, looking up at him.

"Well.." He paused, "I can make you come in five minutes with this finger," He held up his ring finger, "Under the desk." He winked.

Remus and James grimaced as you laughed, "In your dreams Black." You left his arms, hitting him lightly in the stomach.

He pouted, "How come she will fuck James and not me? I am way better in bed."

"No, you aren't mate." James scoffed, "She's in love with my tongue." He said, sticking his tongue out at Sirius.

Sirius gave him a mocking face as you all entered the classroom. You noticed that Lily was sitting at an empty desk, looking at James already.

You sat down at an empty desk, hoping that James would sit with you. You looked at him as well, he was looking at you then back at Lily.

He walked forward to you as a wave of relief passed over you, "I'll see you tonight, okay?" He said to you as disbelief took your expression entirely.

He didn't wait for an answer, sitting down next to Lily.

You couldn't believe that he had done that to you, you never thought James would be so cruel.

You sat there in silence, just staring straight across from you.

Peter sat down next to you, taking your hand in his as a way of understanding.

You squeezed his hand, thanking him as you looked over to see James and Lily laughing about something.

Your heart was breaking at the sight of it all.

The class seemed as if it took an eternity to end. Usually, you had James there to make jokes and make the class worth the misery of Slughorn's long lectures but instead, he was making jokes and making the class worth the misery for Lily.

You saw Lily and James exchanging their last words, smiling at each other as Lily left, blushing ferociously.

James came beaming, rushing to tell you all about his encounter with Lily and how well it had gone.

It was actually giving you a headache.

You cut him off finally, "I'm gonna go lay down actually."

"Are you all right?" James asked.

"Yeah, just tired." You replied convincingly.

"Oh okay, I'm gonna go hang out with Lily at Hogsmeade for a bit after lunch but I'll be back before tonight." He mentioned before talking to the rest of the Marauders, not waiting for your response.

You turned away and made it toward your dorm.

You couldn't help but be pissed at James for even treating you like this. Usually, it was annoying but it wasn't intolerable or something that made you sick.

It was as if James couldn't care for your well-being today.

You weren't used to this James, the James that fully neglected you for Lily Evans.

He might've been not that attentive but only before Quidditch matches, never because of Lily.

You knew he cared about your feelings but today, it felt like you completely dismissed them.

You did actually have a headache though.

Taking a nap would most likely fix it faster than a bunch of classes and boring lectures.

----

You awoke after hours, the buzzing in your head finally being non-existent.

All of your dorm mates were in bed so dinner had already passed, it was time for you to meet up with James.

You had put on your prettiest set of pink pajamas, spraying the best perfume you had that smelled of violet and citrus.

Sneaking in the kitchens would be your only problem sadly due to the excessive guarding of the corridors.

Usually, you would use the invisibility cloak but James had it and there was no possible way of going to his dorm and getting it from him.

You risked being caught, sneaking to the kitchens, using your wand as a small flashlight.

Thankfully, you didn't get caught and you made it to the kitchens. No elves were in sight as you grabbed tubs of ice cream, and whipped cream with chocolate syrup and cherries.

You sat down on a stool, not wanting to start eating without James.

You had waited an hour and thirty minutes so far, but no sight of James yet. You were worried that he was so tired that he forgot.

The ice cream started melting and you had to use a freezing spell to stop it.

You started nodding off, about to sleep before you heard two voices laughing.

You looked over to see James and Lily laughing, his jacket around her shoulders as you were internally fuming.

They both stopped laughing at the sight of you.

"Oh Y/n," He looked at you in shock, "I totally forgot about tonight." He looked entirely guilty.

You didn't respond, but instead, you got off of the stool and grabbed your wand.

You went towards the doorway where they were, "Excuse me." You excused yourself as Lily moved and James didn't.

"Y/n." He said, looking at your eyes that were glossy.

"I said excuse me, James." Your voice broke.

He moved beside you as you stormed off toward your dorm.

You heard footsteps charging after you as you looked behind you, "Stop." You sobbed as James stopped in his tracks, "I'm not going to talk about this, go back to your date." You demanded.

"You are important to me." He said.

"More important than her?" You asked, tears falling down your cheeks.

He didn't know what to say, "Yeah, that's what I thought."

You turned away, "I always put you first." You said before looking back again.

"I understand if we can't be more than whatever the fuck we are but at least have enough respect for me to not make me wait for you." You argued.

"I never meant to hurt you," James said, guilty.

"But you continue to do it and it's shameless," You sobbed, "You know no matter what, I will always be there for you, I will always be at your beck and call and you know it's because I love you." You said.

He stood speechless, "But you used me as a placeholder for her until she gave in." You cried.

"I never used you, I thought it was mutual-" He tried explaining.

"I tried to tell you this morning how I felt and you ignored me, you didn't even let me try to tell you." You stated, "But you never care to listen to me, you only use me for sex." You spat.

"Y/n, I-" He started but you both heard footsteps.

"You are out of time, James." You said, turning your heel and running off to your dorm.

[andreafmn]

Speak | Chapter 9

Word Count: 3.6K Story Description: Bella Swan was a disaster when Edward had left. Deciding she needed a little help, Charlie Swan receives with open arms his younger daughter (Y/N) Swan. She helps Bella during her depression and becomes inseparable from her long-lost friend Jacob. What she didn’t expect was falling for a hotheaded short-tempered silver wolf. Chapter: 9/? A/N: one day I'll upload early, y'all. but I am truly trying to keep to the schedule I posted, as hard as it is. But thank you for bearing with me. You guys have no idea how much it means to me 🥰🤍 My content will always be free, but if you’re feeling particularly generous, you can leave a tip on any of my posts to support me and my love of writing or buy me a coffee TikTok • Instagram • Business | MASTERLIST If you’d like to be tagged in this or any other story: click here Make sure you have my notifications on so you know every time I post!  Taglists for Twilight get filled quick and Tumblr only lets me tag up to a certain point. Notifications are your best bet.

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Chapter 9

The Swan sisters had been raised with a misconstrued idea that the new year meant a fresh start, a clean slate. That it could magically erase any and all afflictions the year before had caused. That it truly was the first page of a new chapter.

And maybe that’s all that (Y/N) was hoping for that New Year’s Eve. That the coming year would be the first page of her new chapter in Forks. That whatever was happening with Paul would die that December night. That Bella would finally turn over a new leaf and forget Edward. That she could move forward with her relationship with Jake.

Because that’s what she wanted.

That’s what she had always wanted.

The thing she most needed was to get over whatever fluke it was that had made its way into her life. Whatever breach into her timeline that had decided to make her heart flutter out the sound of someone else’s name. It had been too sudden and unexplainable to not be a mistake.

Paul Lahote had no business settling into her heart in the way he had, and she would stop at nothing to pluck him as quickly as he had attached himself. Even if she looked forward to seeing him in her dreams at night, even if her heart skipped a beat at the mere thought of him, even if all she wanted was to get as close to him as possible.

(Y/N) wanted —at least she thought she wanted— to go back to being excited that Jacob had finally set his sights on her. She wanted the same thrill she got about Paul with Jake. He had been the crush that had withstood the trials of time. It could not be trampled over by a guy she barely knew.

Yet, she could not stop thinking how his favorite color was red, how he moved to La Push after his parent’s divorced when he was eight, how he didn’t remember much of his mother even though he had been old enough to, how he had never been in love but desperately wanted to know what it felt like. (Y/N) could not stop picturing the way his eyes would shine under the warm glow of the setting sun, how his smile would grow as he listened intently to every word she spoke. Nor could she shake off the feeling of his warm skin against hers, how soft his hands had felt where she believed they’d be rough and calloused. He was everything and nothing like she had thought, but she knew that was as far as she could go to know him.

“Well, don’t you look mighty nice?” Charlie’s voice broke his daughter out of thought. “I think you’ve been to more bonfires this month than I have been to in years. People might start forgetting the sheriff’s face around there.”

“I doubt that’s even possible, dad,” she chuckled, smoothing over a piece of hair that had been unruly for the better part of the day. “Really wish you could join us, though. Since Bella won’t be making it out there, I wanted a Swan there for moral support.”

“This about that Paul fella?”

The question took (Y/N) aback. She had thought no one but Jake knew about that whole fiasco, and she was certain he had not said anything to her dad. “How do you…?” she stammered.

“Bella muttered a thing or two about him. Said he was the one you had been with the other night,” her father said. “Something happen with you and Jake?”

“Nothing happened,” she muttered. “I’m just making new friends seeing as my stay in Forks might be longer than anticipated.”

“Well, that’s a good idea. Just be careful of the people you keep in your company.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Jake might have mentioned this Paul Lahote character is not the greatest influence,” Charlie added. “He thinks he might not have the purest of intentions with you, (Y/N). I just don’t wanna see you get hurt.”  

“Well, I can tell you right now that you have nothing to worry about,” (Y/N) smiled comfortingly.  The last thing she wanted was for her father to worry about her when his other daughter was still no more than a statue in their home.  “I have only hung out with him that one time and I don’t think it’ll happen again. But thanks for checking in.”

“Just wanna make sure your transition back here is as smooth as possible, kiddo,” he responded warmly. “I know it’s gonna be hard to settle back here after being with your mom for so long. Forks might be a bit slow but it’s truly home.”

“I’m actually excited about staying. Even if it wasn’t the plan originally, there’s something about this town that’s just begging for me to stay,” she confessed. “Even if I came to help with Bella, I’m glad I decided to stay. It will also keep mom from taking us both back to Florida —at least for a while.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” The older Swan said before she nodded in response. “I’m just glad you two wanted to spend time with your old man. Even if I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“You’re doing good, dad,” (Y/N) chuckled. “I will say you got the shortest end of the stick having to be the one dealing with this breakup but I know you’re doing the absolute best you can. Hopefully, this new year brings us all the fresh start we so desperately need.”

“I hope so too, kiddo,” he sighed in defeat. “But have fun tonight, (Y/N), and make good choices.”

“Have I ever done anything else?”

“Very funny, kid,” Charlie chuckled. “Well, I’m off to work. I’ll probably not be here yet when you get back, so happy new year, (Y/N). And have fun.”

“Happy New Year, dad.”

Everything in Forks seemed to move at a punishingly fast pace, even if at times it felt like the town was stuck in time. But (Y/N) had been there almost four weeks which had already felt like a lifetime.

In comparison to living with Phil and her mother, in the midst of travel and adventures that she had loved for a time, (Y/N) had forgotten the calmness of remaining stagnant, of going to sleep and waking in the same home. She had forgotten what walking the halls of a school felt like, of having a group of friends that lasted more than a year.

Forks would give her that opportunity, or at least she hoped it would. The town had already started to change her and given her more than she could’ve hoped for. And that night she truly believed would set everything in the correct motion. Everything she had wished for with no more flukes.

An hour later and from the street she heard the honk of a horn. She gave herself a once over, not feeling completely comfortable with the way she looked that night. In part, she felt it was merely the nerves of seeing Jacob after the altercation with Paul.

But there was another part, the bigger part, that knew it was because of Paul. There was a calming thrill to him that she couldn’t explain. Even the juxtaposition of the thought made no sense to her. As much as she wanted to stay away from him, she wanted to get closer. It scared and excited her all at once.

Yet, the person that was waiting for her was not him. It was Jake, waiting impatiently behind the wheel of his truck.

“What took you so long?” Jacob grumbled as (Y/N) got into the car. “We’re already late as it is.”

“Sorry, Jake. I couldn’t find my jacket.”

“It’s fine, (Y/N). It’s just that Quil came back from his trip, and I wanted to catch up with him before school starts,” he said. “I also haven’t seen Embry since last weekend since he was with his mom visiting some family.”  

“Yeah, I get that,” (Y/N) responded meekly, sinking into her seat. “At least we have the rest of the night to hang out with them.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he smiled forcefully. “What about Bella? Is she not coming?”

“No,” she said through gritted teeth. “She wasn’t up to coming. Still bummed about this Edward guy.”

“What a shame,” Jake sighed. “Being around people would be good for her.”

“Yeah, maybe,” she mumbled. “But I can’t really force her. This guy did a number on her and nothing dad and I are doing is working. I’ve even decided to…”

“Maybe you guys don’t know her as well as you thought,” he blurted. “I mean, no offense but she’s not the same girl that left Arizona. She’s not even the same girl that came to Forks.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t help her, Jake. And that’s what we have been doing this whole time. Still, we can’t help someone that doesn’t want to help themselves.”

“I’m not trying to start a fight, (Y/N),” he grumbled. “I’m just saying that  maybe your efforts have not worked because she’s not the same Bella you knew.”

The girl remained quiet, anger filling her body instantly. Bella remained a sore subject in the new relationship, always being brought up by Jacob, reminding (Y/N) that he had liked her sister first –and, deep down, she knew he probably still did. Still, wanted to remain in the delusion that he had chosen her for as long as she could.

“It’s fine. Let’s just drop this, okay?” (Y/N) pleaded. “I just want to enjoy tonight. Please.”

“Alright, yeah. Whatever.”

The rest of the ride went by in silence, a heavy tension filling the air and suffocating her. At that moment, more than ever before in her life, she needed to believe that the new year was truly a fresh start. A new beginning for her sister, a new beginning for her relationship, and a new beginning for her life in Forks.

As soon as the truck rolled to a stop, Jake was out of the car and heading to the beach, mumbling something to (Y/N) that he was gonna see his friends and that he’d catch up to her soon enough. Then, he left her in between the small sea of cars that lined the border of the beach.

The younger Swan was left dumbfounded, completely perplexed at Jake’s reaction. His outburst had made her feel small and unwanted. And as she stood frozen at her spot, watching the community celebrate before her, she wondered if there was any reason for her to be there. Because maybe the best thing she could do, for everyone, was leave.

“I’m glad you came, (Y/N),” a voice startled her. “You look beautiful tonight.”

“Paul, hi,” she blushed, looking down at the black jumpsuit she wore under a white coat. “Thank you. You look great too. Especially with my sweater.”

“Oh, it was cold tonight and it was the first thing I grabbed,” he chuckled. “I promise I was gonna bring it back to you, not use it like it was mine.”

“Honestly, it looks better on you than it does me. Sometimes I feel like I drown in it.”

“I’m sure that’s not true. Your look great in a paper bag,” he grinned. “But I really am glad you came tonight.”

“And why is that, Paul Lahote?”

“Because I wanted to apologize for the other day. I never wanted things to end the way they did,” he said. His eyes searched hers in the darkness, wanting nothing more than for his hands to reach her, to feel her skin against his once more. “I’m sorry if I caused any trouble between you and Jacob. The last thing I would have ever wanted was for you to be blamed for my actions. You don’t deserve that.”

“Thank you, Paul,” she smiled, her hand unconsciously reaching for his, giving it a comforting squeeze. “But it’s not your fault. I was the one that agreed to spend time with you knowing that Jake would blow off the handle. If anyone is to blame for what happened that night, it’s me.”

Paul couldn’t help himself as his free hand flew to rest on her cheek, cradling her face in a soothing manner. “Nothing that happened was your fault, (Y/N),” he said. “Jake simply showed you who he is. You never did anything wrong. We didn’t do anything wrong.”

In that split second, (Y/N) remembered Jake’s words. She broke away from his contact, as though his touch had burned her skin, turning away from the enchanting trance his eyes held over her.

“What’s wrong?”

“It's just that Jake said something about you and… your past,” she sighed. “He said I was just an attempt to make your body count higher.”

“I hope you know how untrue that is,” he said, seething on the inside but not daring to show it to her. “You are special, (Y/N), and I would never do anything that would make you feel otherwise.”

“But why, Paul? What is so special about me? To everyone, I’m just Bella’s little sister.”

“You have to know that that is the least interesting thing about you,” he said. He reached out to her, needing to look her in the eye again. “You’re funny, you’re kind, you’re smart and witty. And that’s merely the tip of the iceberg. I may not have known you for long but I know there’s so much more to you than you let on. And all I’ve wanted was to learn about those parts that you hide from everyone else.”

“I still don’t know why!” (Y/N) responded, frustration pooling beads of tears in the corners of her eyes. “How can I trust someone that somehow says everything I want to hear but won’t give me a straightforward answer? Why me, Paul? Out of all the people in the world, why do you want to know me?”

At that moment, he felt he would spill everything. He wanted her to know just why it was her, why the universe had decided that it had to be her. Paul wanted to confess what bonded them and would keep them for the rest of their lives.

And he would have, but the fear of putting her in any danger could not let him say the words. He could not bring himself to utter any of the words that would throw her life up in shambles. “Why not you, (Y/N)?” he asked her, biting his tongue to keep what he wanted to say from spilling. “Is it so hard to believe that I could have seen you and be intrigued by you?”

“You saw me for a split second, Paul. Someone you’ve never known of cannot be worth all this trouble.”

“You are worth it, (Y/N).”

“And you are frustratingly vague,” she finally cracked a smile. “Why can’t you just answer me? What is it that you’re hiding?”

“You’d never believe me if I told you,” he copied her smile. “And isn’t a little mystery fun?”

“It could be if it didn’t get me in trouble with my boyfriend.”

“That could be fixed by breaking up with him, you know,” Paul teased. “A lot of things could be fixed if Jake was gone.”

“Are you threatening my boyfriend, Paul Lahote?”

“I would never,” he laughed. “But I still believe that he doesn’t deserve you, (Y/N).”

“Will you ever let that go?”

“Don’t think I can.”

And maybe she knew he was right but it was too hard to admit it, to him or to herself. She had wanted Jake for the better part of her life and one night could not change that. She wouldn’t let it. “Then you’re gonna have to if there’s ever gonna be some sort of friendship between us,” she said. “Might be hard to spend time with someone that’s always trashing their boyfriend.”

“I mean, you’ve only got a couple more weeks before you have to go back to Florida, right? I think I can control myself in that time.”

“Actually, I decided to move to Forks with my dad,” she smiled. “Bella isn’t getting better and I’ve honestly gotten attached to this town. It might be that some people have made this place so enchanting.”

“Then I guess I’m gonna have to work harder on pretending that I like Jake,” he grinned. “But I am glad you’re staying. The town wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“I’ve only been here for three weeks, Paul,” she laughed.

“And nothing has been the same since.”

“You’re something else.”

“I could say the same about you,” Paul added before noticing Jared calling him over. “And on that note, I will have to leave you. I’ve got a couple of things I have to do. But not before you give me your phone number.”

“My number?”

“That way I’d we ever wanna see each other it doesn’t have to be by me showing up at your house or running into each other at a bonfire.”

“Right,” she chuckled, handing him her phone. “That’s smart.”

 “I’ll see you around, (Y/N),” he smiled before kissing her on the cheek and disappearing down the beach.

As soon as he was out of sight, (Y/N) looked around, hoping that no one had witnessed what had just happened. As innocent as everything could have been, in such a small town, everything was known.

Once she had calmed down, she finally walked toward the commotion of the beach. Feeling as confused as she had been since meeting Paul, but at peace. Being around him made her feel serene, tranquility spreading through her veins. Though he made her heart race, he didn’t make her chest feel tight. It was a feeling that made her feel equal parts uneasy and calm.

“Where were you?” Jake asked as she joined him and his friends, a hint of annoyance dancing between his words.

“Just around,” she smiled. “I was actually planning to get something to drink. Do you guys want anything?”

“We’re good,” Embry smiled kindly. “But thank you.”

“Just hurry,” Jake added before becoming more interested in the conversations he was having before she had gotten close. “And bring me back a water, thanks.”

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

(Y/N) left him quickly, needing to compose herself before heading back toward him. She could feel how annoyed he was at her. Ever since that afternoon with Paul, Jake had become distant and rather cold toward her but she could understand why. As much as it pained her, she knew why and that she had to do something to make it up to him while keeping what angered him a secret.

“It’s good to see you around, (Y/N),” Billy said as he joined the girl’s side at the refreshment table. “I was wondering when I would see you again.”

“Hi, uncle Billy,” she smiled. “I’ve been meaning to go by the house but I’ve been busy these couple of days.”

“And things have been heated between you and my son.”

“How did you…?”

“Small town,” he smiled softly. “But I’ve already had some words with my son about his behavior toward you. It was completely unacceptable.”

“It might have been an overreaction but it was warranted,” she said looking down. “I knew what I did would anger him but I still did it.”

“That doesn’t mean he can chastise you in the middle of town. My son is young and can be quick-tempered,” Billy sighed, taking one of (Y/N)’s hands in his. “He says and does things that he doesn’t know he will regret one day, and you don’t deserve to be in the receiving end of that.”

“Thank you, Billy,” (Y/N) smiled, squeezing his hand reassuringly. “But I’m sure he’s sorry for that night and we’ll work through it together.”

“You know, I love my son, but he can be quite stubborn when he wants to. Even at his own detriment. Still, I hope this new year brings you both clarity and growth. Both personally, and if the gods want it, in your relationship as well.”

“I hope so too, uncle Billy.”

“My son is lucky to have you by his side. Even if he doesn’t know it.”

(Y/N) felt a new surge of confidence as he joined Jake and his friends once more. Knowing Billy was watching her back made her feel stronger about her relationship with Jacob and that it was worth investing her heart and time into. She knew her heart yearned for Jake and all she felt toward Paul was a strong sense of friendship.

As the hours passed and the tension between her and Jake seemed to dissipate, her resolve simply solidified itself. She would do anything possible to fix her relationship with her boyfriend and keep her friendship with Paul separate from Jacob.

But there was the smallest part in her that replayed Paul’s voice. He kept telling her how she deserved better and that Jake was not the right person for her, even if that was who she had wanted for so long.

Still, when the clock struck twelve, Jake was the one she kissed, and wished things would work out between them. She wished for him to only see Bella as a friend and finally give his whole heart to her. Wrapped in his arms as they cheered the new year, she begged the universe to give her the chance to have everything she had wished for.

Yet as her eyes found Paul’s in the crowd, she doubted if it was what she truly wanted or if she was holding onto a silly childhood dream.

Next ->

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[paingoes]

Crash Out - Sabina

hi. this one is pretty dark. heres some backstory on paris’s parents. it’s about forced marriage and offscreen/implied forced pregnancy and rape. nothing sexually explicit is depicted, just implied. heavy overtones of domestic violence as well.

(Content: abduction, lady whump, forced marriage, physical abuse, familial whump, royal whump, intimate whumper, defiant whumpee, domestic violence, starvation, referenced child endangerment, implied noncon, suicide, poisoning, death, unhappy ending)

“Oh shit,” Paris sat up in the passenger seat, pushing the sunglasses up off his eyes. “I’ve been here before.”

The city below glowed in the early morning light, pale and crystalline. The glass spires jutted out from the soft grass. It looked cold, somehow. Twinkling. Lorelai had never seen a town look so fragile. She’d have never thought to describe one that way if she had not seen it herself.

“What?” she asked. “On conquest?”

“No,” he answered huffily, as if this were an unreasonable assumption to make.

“With my mom,” he explained, looking off into the middle distance. “Her family’s from here.”

Lorelai slid out of the car, slamming the door shut behind her. He followed her out, down the smooth stones that made up the pathway into the city center. 

It was a pleasantly cool day, but the architecture made the whole scene feel wintery. She imagined that she was entering into a kingdom of ice. She remembered Thales, how cold it had been on the night of the ball. As she slipped her hand into Paris’s own — the non-dominant, the less injured one — she felt the same chill. It wasn’t all unpleasant. There was a beauty to it.

 All it had to be was a supply run. The imperial currency was standardized, good enough for all the planets in its territory. The further out they got, the more open the locals became to haggling. She leaned forward against the counter of the fruit stand. The vendors liked her. Everyone always liked her.

After a while of staring off into the hillside, Paris propped one arm against the barrel.

“You know where I can find a Selene Lucia?” he asked them.

They were nice enough to draw up a map, the pencil carving a path up into the hills. No exact address, but Paris swore he’d know it when he saw it. By her estimate, if he’d come with his mother, he hadn’t been here since he was seven years old.

The pale buildings petered out on the climb, the houses became sparser, more residential. In time, he really did abandon the map, working purely off the distant memory. 

The trees shaded the sidewalk. She traced her fingers along the black fence that divided the path from the lawns, listening to the pleasant vibration it made in her fingers. The leaf canopy cleared for a split second as they passed another gate.

“This is it,” Paris said abruptly. He stared at it dumbfounded.

“You think she still lives here?” Lorelai asked, frowning.

“Don’t see why not.”

Neither of them moved.

“Are you coming?” he asked. It seemed like he already knew the answer.

“…If you want,” she offered. He shook his head. The one and only time she had met his father, it hadn’t gone well. She didn’t want much to do with his family.

“Call me if you need help,” he said as he pushed the gate open.

“You too.” She nodded, heading back down the hill. The sun was higher in the sky now. The city reflected it straight into her eyes, nearly blinding her.

~

“Oh, god,” Selene Lucia said as soon as she opened the door.

“Hi,” Paris said, pleasantly surprised to even be recognized. 

She pulled him into the house, slamming the door shut behind him.

“Are you being followed?” she asked.

“Uh, no, ma’am. Don’t think so. Not now.” Paris ran one hand through his hair.

“What are you doing here?” She narrowed her eyes. Her face had creased from years of that same, skeptical motion.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, “I was in the area. I just wanted to stop by.”

He needed to do laundry, too. He decided not to mention that now.

Selene sighed. There was some relief there, he could tell. Maybe she thought he’d come asking for more. 

He looked around at the house. It was smaller than he remembered, but still nice. Light filtered in through the sheer curtains.

She led him into the violet-colored kitchen, the dark sharpness of him clashing against the scene. She’d been working when he knocked — and this she resumed. He leaned back against the counter, rocking gently against it, watching the knife cut thin lines through the stalks.

“Do you need me to do anything?” he offered. She shook her head. He shrugged, looking back down at the linoleum.

“You’re wanted in five hundred different territories,” she said.

Five hundred sixty one.

“Yeah,” he said, not looking up. For some reason, he hadn’t thought that’d be her first reaction. 

“It’s your father’s fault, you know. Leaving everything in the air like that. It wouldn’t have happened if he-“

“-if he believed he could die?” Paris finished. He’d had the same thought, a million times over.

She made a soft and exasperated sound — and said nothing else.

“You didn’t…call or anything. After he died,” he said tentatively. 

“We had no contact,” Selene said.

“My phone number is public record,” Paris said, not hiding the hurt in his voice. He leaned forward, his arms crossed over his midsection. She didn’t turn to look at him.

“I don’t know why you’d expect that from me,” she said.

“I didn’t.” He shrugged. “I just…I don’t know. It would’ve been nice.”

“Would it?” She asked, turning now.

He frowned. What was he supposed to say to that? He hadn’t even realized he wanted it until he entered the house. It hadn’t occurred to him at all.

“I don’t know why you didn’t,” he said. “You didn’t call me when she died, either. You didn’t reach out at all.”

She seemed to lose her resolve then. She signed, nodding her head in the direction of the kitchen table. He sat down where indicated. The whorls of wood grain stared back up at him. Their shapes had mesmerized him when he was little.

“Is ginger tea fine?” She asked as she lit the last of the stove’s burners.

“Yes, ma’am.” He agreed, though he knew he wouldn’t drink it. He tried not to drink from any open containers — and he watched her hands carefully as she prepared it, wary of pills, wary of poison.

She placed two pale yellow teacups down on the table. Powder blue chinoiserie decorated the edges of the saucers. Steam floated delicately off the golden surface of the water.

“Do you know how your parents met, Paris?”

~

On a morning wet with dewdrops, Selene and Sabina tread happily through the underbrush. The sky was pale and overcast, but the sweaters their mother had knit for them kept them warm and comfortable. Sabina picked at the roses and the sweet briar that bloomed out of the damp earth. Twin blonde braids fell down her back. They were stained with mud at the edges when she’d bent down to touch the grass.

Selene watched the skies with a kind of dormant worry. There was something she was always waiting for, but never really expected. But it had come anyway. It had landed last month.

There was a place the land crested, the point at which the forest gave way to the clear valley. When they were little, they had dragged their sleds out to it on snowy days and laughed as they flew down the hill.

With the easy familiarity of someone who had walked this path since birth, Sabina moved to the top of the ridge. She was startled to find that in the valley below, a large ship was parked. It was more expensive than anything she’d ever laid her eyes on.

All dressed in scarlet against the verdant grass, a man stood tall and impervious. For a split second, his eyes fell on her. And that was all he needed.

~

The Emperor arrived in fine robes, in the middle of town, all his footmen swarming in droves about him. His color was pale, in a way that is supernatural. Not at all sickly. He was in good health. 

In the market, Selene crowded closer to the exit, while all Sabina seemed to want to do was stand her ground. The Emperor fixed his eyes on her, matching her boldness. His hands didn’t shake the way hers did, but the length of her was all resistance.

He liked it.

“Briar Rose,” he said, sing-song, “Was that you in the canyon the other day?”

Unbelievably, his hand moved to trace her braids. She smacked it away, teeth bared, furious.

“Go fuck yourself,” Sabina hissed. 

All she got in return was a chuckle. It was the sound birds made when the bullet missed their heart.

~

The knock came in the middle of the night, with only Selene up to answer it. She peeked through the curtain, and immediately drew far back, down onto the carpet.

“Daddy,” she cried, in a pitch she had not reached since childhood. 

He came instantly and sent her back to her room, far from the thin door that separated their house from nightfall. But her room was right by the entrance. She pressed her ear to the ground to listen.

“Would you accept a dowry?” came the low drawl of the Emperor. “For the youngest. The blonde one.”

“She is my daughter,” Father’s voice came out wrathful in return. “You can take the rest of the world - god knows you already have - but you will not touch her.”

“I would take good care of all of you,” he promised. “I don’t mean to distress her. I think it’d be best if we were all on the same page about this.”

Milky, sick. Selene cried until she couldn’t breathe, then cried more. Sabina slept in the next room, fast asleep, unknowing.

~

Roses. There were thousands of them, clogging up the yard, on each surface of the porch. Roses, roses, roses. The scent was overpowering. It was like something out of a nightmare. When she moved to open the door that morning, Sabina met a stiff resistance. That was thick the petals were stacked.

They came with a note. Father snatched it away before Selene could read, but Sabina had seen it.

She heard her sister crying down the hall. She watched it through a crack in the door.

“I don’t wanna go,” Sabina sobbed, “Mama, I don’t wanna go, please.”

She hid her face in the fabric of their mother’s dress, bent over on the floor, inconsolable. Already flinching away from any touch.

~

“You will come quietly,” the Emperor said, “Or you will come in chains. It makes no difference to me.”

Sabina swung at him as if she could knock his head straight off. It took five men to drag her off in those glistening, golden chains. She was soaked with sweat and tears, an awful slickness, a thrashing.

~

Castle Thales was dark in wintertime — and to her starved body, each room was freezing. Each door had a lock — and she had no keys.

He left her in her own bedroom the first nights. Locked up there, hands bound, until she was ready to *calm down*. He’d thought it would take days. It ended up taking months. It was only when the food stopped that she became handleable.

Sabina glared daggers at him. Her hands shook too much to hold utensils. He thought it was from fear, but it was all just fury. 

She dreamt of killing him nightly.

~

“It won’t be as bad as you think,” Constantine promised her as he lifted the veil. “It does not have to be this hard. You make it this way.���

She glared and glared and glared and flinched as his hand traced her bare arm. She was too pale now. She’d been locked away from the sun for too long. Now her skin was as white as the ripped wedding dress.

“You’re a queen now,” he said, like it comes as an assurance. She wanted nothing more than to beat him until he stopped breathing.

“You could have all you ever dreamed of,” he said. He doesn’t know her at all. Tears formed in her eyes before she could stop them. He moved to wipe them away for her. She bit into his hand as hard as she could and grinned when she drew blood. It was the first time she’d smiled in months.

~

She was slapped violently for that, which surprised her, because up to this point he had seemed so hesitant to hit her in the face. He threatened to yank all her teeth out, replace them with dentures, and take them out whenever he decided she’d lost the privilege. 

This seemed unattractive, which gave her reason to doubt the threat. But she could not call his bluff, so she stopped biting.

One of his men whipped her back until it was bloody. She hated it. She reveled in it. She was making him so mad. 

She cried as the maids worked to cover the bruises, the skin still tender even at the soft touch of the brushes. The crying wet her face. They had to keep restarting.

There was no need to cover up the whip marks. The corset did it all on its own — coarse, scratching, irritating the unhealed skin. The maids undid her long braids. Her hair reached all the way to her waist now. 

She reached out for the scissors on the vanity and cut it all off.

~

He was mad he couldn’t pull her hair anymore. He could bunch it up by her scalp, but it wasn’t the same. His was a cold anger. He probably liked to think of it as controlled. He loved to think of himself as controlled.

“It looks good on you, darling,” Nezu said over dinner, just to piss them both off. Sabina made a gagging sound in the back of her throat. She reached for the unused knife by her right napkin and wields it menacingly. As menacingly as she could manage, which turned out to be a lot.

Nezu looked excited at the prospect of getting stabbed by her. In disgust, she put the knife back down.

“Picked a good one,” he said approvingly, just as soon as the Emperor rejoined them.

~

“Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!” Sabina held the saber in both hands. It was decorative, plucked straight off the wall, but it still held an edge. It could still kill. She meant to. She really meant to.

“You are unwell,” Constantine said. “You don’t know what’s good for you. You don’t know when to quit.”

She lunged at him. He gasped and darted away. She’d only missed him by an inch. She howled in frustration.

If they’d trained her, she’d have been a brilliant fighter. But they hadn’t. And she wasn’t. She left all of herself exposed for the next lunge — and he downed her.

“I’ll kill you,” she swore, with his hands wrapped tight around her throat. “If it’s the last thing I do, I swear, I’ll kill you”

“Sabina,” he cooed sadly. “Rose. All I want is for you to be happy.”

“I want you to fucking die,” she sobbed. 

It was a final hurrah, one last gift to herself. When the sobbing died down, there was nothing else left.

~

The baby came a year later. He’d stopped hitting her while she was pregnant. She did not know if this was temperance, or if it was merely because she’d stopped fighting. They’d both been reluctant to resume the old routine. The baby changed things. It was soft, pliant. So easy to break. Sabina cried when she held it for the first time, cried every day after that. It had kneaded at her chest, half-blind, sleepy. It didn’t know anything.

“Constantine?” She said softly as he swapped out the bandages. The Emperor up in surprise. She so rarely used his name. 

But when he did look, she didn’t know what else to say. The terror must have shown through her. She felt all her body was wretched, torn apart, aching. She couldn’t take anymore.

He seemed to recognize this. He never hit her again.

~

Years passed before she saw her family again. When her son is five years old, she brought him back to that porcelain city, back to her parent’s old house. Both of them dead now, the million wars ravaging even when she cannot see them. She didn’t get to go to the funeral.

She’s stopped crying so much at this point. There’s a dignity to her, one she’s managed to scrape up off the floor of the palace. She was the tough one. She always had been.

She sat up in her sister’s kitchen, drinking ginger tea, manicured nails tapping softly at the porcelain cup. Selene sat across from her, pale, as if she’d seen a ghost.

~

They wrote letters after that. Constantine had agreed to it, perhaps sensing that his wife had no bone for conspiracy left within her. She was locked into it now, more than she ever had been before.

There’s a desperation to her script. God, she was so unhappy. Selene wrote back just as soon as the mail was delivered, sent it out the same day. It was all she could do. It never seemed to amount to much.

Sabina hinted at it. Selene swore she knew the end.

There’s a flower that grows in the garden of Castle Thales. It is indistinguishable from the heritage rose, but a single blossom could kill when ingested.

When they did the autopsy, they found fifteen of them in her stomach.

~

Paris stared back at her from across the table, totally frozen. The teacup sat in front of him cold and untouched.

“She died of sepsis,” he said slowly, emphasizing each word.

Selene looked at him with such pity that he thought he might be sick.

“She died of sepsis,” he repeated, “Slowly. In the hospital. She didn’t commit suicide.”

“Paris,” she said softly, “It took a week, didn’t it? Did you see her before the end?”

He propped one elbow up on the table and hid his face in his hand.

“I was at school,” he muttered. “She was already comatose when I got there. She died the next day.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. 

And of course she said it now, thirteen years later. She wasn’t there when it happened. Nobody was. There was absolutely nothing.

“You understand, surely,” Selene said, “why I was not so devastated to hear of your father’s death.”

There was still something so haunted in her look. He couldn’t bring himself to look up from the wood whorls. He didn’t even hear her standing up. He flinched at the sudden brush at his hand, gentle as it was. She tilted his face up as if to study him.

“God, you look just like her.”

The doorbell rang. Selene startled.

“I thought you said you were alone.”

“She’s my friend.” He stood up quickly. “She’s the only one.”

He opened the door. Lorelai stood cheerily on the step.

“Look what I got.” She grinned. She held up her hand at his eye level and let the necklace dangle from its chain. At its end, the rose charm shined in the dying light.

~

On an air mattress in the cleared out living room, they laid in a tangle of limbs. Lorelai’s breath was shallow, light, pleasantly exhausted. Paris traced the flesh of her breastbone, intent, almost like he was trying to find something. He had told her the whole story, in hushed tones, in the dark.

“I don’t want to get married,” he said quietly, at the end.

Lorelai laughed under her breath.

“Paris, we were never gonna get married.”

“Yeah, I know. I just…” he trailed off. “l don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

Oh, what a question. He shrugged.

“…I took you away from your family,” he said it hushed, as if it was confessional.

“Is that how you remember it?” She laughed again. “That’s not what it was. I wanted to go. I asked you first.”

“I just don’t want to hurt you,” he said, finishing the thought. What either of them thought when they first started out hardly mattered anymore. It seemed so far away now.

“Then don’t,” she said.

~

They left before the sun rose, trudging the long way, past all the grave sites.

“I guess it’s weird for me to keep this now,” Lorelai said as she studied the pendant.

“It’s just a necklace,” Paris shrugged. “It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

But they both knew it would always hold that weight.

The grass was frosty as if it had snowed. There was so much mist in the air. It was cool and refreshing. It was the perfect morning for it. 

They passed by another memorial site. Victims of the war that Empire was waged. An orator could list them all day and never run out of names. Paris paused to watch as Lorelai moved up the knoll and placed the pendant by the base of the stone. Not for Empire. Not for Rose. For Sabina.

~~~

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety @whump-queen

[behoright]

eye on you l a. svechnikov

summary: andrei is oh so drunk, and he needs you to pick him up from the bar.

wordcount: 4.5k

warnings: sexually suggestive, a lil cursing and mentions of alcohol and such. but that's it. very fluffy and corny. barely proofread yikes.

a/n: the way no one asked for this. go blame it on @ryanpulock again.

∬ ﹒ 🪱 . ° 🛼 ﹒ ❊

Another night in. Nothing new. Despite all of your friends’ efforts to drag you out of your apartment. Again.

It wasn’t that you disliked the company of your friends or even the atmosphere of a bar. Every night just simply didn’t feel like the night. And tonight was no different.

Looking back, it had always taken you a while to make friends, but it had never been too hard. Both in middle school and high school you had been able to find your own little group that you felt accepted and loved in. It was a little bit more daunting when you moved to Raleigh, getting to a new city with virtually no connections. It all seemed to find its natural way to work out once you began college, as always. You felt very lucky to have found the friends you have now, those who stuck with you from your first year up until now. You weren’t done with your studies, not even close, but your internship paid enough for you to move into an apartment all on your own. It didn’t take long for your friends to get copies of your key, barging in and out any time they wanted. 

Seemingly, every Friday night, legitimately forcing you out of bed and into whatever cute dress you had collecting dust in the closet. It was hard to admit, but once you got to the bar, you actually did have fun. The sounds of various people socializing along with the pouring of drinks or the sharp crack of a pool stick made you forget about the endless piles of schoolwork you had sitting on your desk. 

You usually ended up thanking your girls for taking you out, even in the mornings when you found yourself hunched over your toilet bowl.

Come to think of it now, that was exactly how you had met Andrei.

Another night of you dragging your heels through the city, whining about all of your upcoming deadlines.

You can recall the dullness of that one night; propped up on the bar, painfully and as politely as possible rejecting the few men that would attempt to come near you. Just as you were walking towards the bathroom, focusing on exactly how you were going to break it to your friends that you were going to call it an early night, your body was jolted backward by a large, large object. 

Have I run into a wall? you remember thinking to yourself.

It was only when the wall moved that you realized. A man.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” he said, very obviously eyeing your chest. 

It was only when you felt the dampness spread to your chest that you realized what had actually happened, your tight white dress stained with a faint red tint.

“Uh, it’s okay.” you said, even if it was clearly not.

“Here, I can help you.” the very flustered stranger suggested, immediately reaching down to worsen the stain with a napkin. 

It’s the thought that counts, I guess.

An awkward silence surrounded you both when he realized just how bad this was getting.

“It’s really okay, don’t worry” you reassured him, walking away from him. 

Washing your hands in the restroom you realized that it was definitely time to go home. 

It was only when the cold air hit you as soon as you stepped outside that you heard a voice calling for you.

“I can pay for it, you know.” 

“You’re following me?” you asked, unable to hide the smirk on your face.

“No! No, no, I mean, yes, a little, but not like that.” he stuttered out, scratching the back of his neck. “I tried to find you, but you are leaving so quickly. I hope I didn’t ruin your night.”

“It’s no problem, really. I can pay for this too.” you repeated. “It was an accident, after all.”

The man’s face softened, stepping closer to you.

“Let me make it up to you, at least.” he proposed, signaling back to the bar. “I’m Andrei. Nice to meet you.”

And somehow, since that night, you ended up as friends. At times, you swore you saw him more often than the girls. 

You didn’t know this, but it was incredibly refreshing for Andrei to have met you the way he did. He knew from the moment he offered to pay for the mess that you had no clue who he was, and he knew he wasn’t a superstar, but it was rare to go unrecognized in a hockey town like Raleigh. 

Especially with women. 

He never ever complained, aware that he was living most men’s dream, to have any girl at his disposal every night; but sometimes he did wish to enjoy a drink with his boys and not be bothered. He just wished he knew what someone’s intentions truly were. He had come to find, over the years in the NHL, that most women's intentions weren’t what they communicated. So after he met you he played it really safe. You had never disappointed him though, and didn’t seem to be interested in anything other than his company. So over the years he was able to let his guard down, slowly but surely, and he felt lucky to be able to call you a close friend.

He knew he could always count on you. And he hoped you felt the same way.

Even if, throughout the years, his feelings had deepened, but he would have never admitted that. Not even to himself. They stayed buried, a fire burning still under a pile of emotional dirt.

There was no harm in spending time with you, and really thinking about you most of the time. And as far as he knew, no one, including you, could really tell. So he was planning to keep it that way. 

Until tonight. 

The team had been on a great winning streak, and after a rougher start to the season, it felt like they were gaining momentum. The more they won, the more motivated they all felt to keep pushing harder. They were all laser-focused, eyes on the prize, shedding blood and sweat every single day. Thankfully for them, their coach had other plans. 

Rod was a tough man, probably more hard-working than all of them combined, and he didn’t take effort lightly. 

But he had also learned over the years that things came easier when he was able to find and implement balance, and that philosophy quickly became a staple in his coaching. That’s how they ended up swarming a local bar that Friday night, high off another win and with two whole days of rest coming up. 

And no player was going to decline drinks at the expense of management. 

They had celebrated before, but tonight Andrei was feeling exceptionally thrilled. Getting first star was a feeling he knew he would never get tired of. And so he decided to push it a little further, settling on shots to start out the night. Considering he wasn’t the only one in that mood, he found himself downing harsh clear liquid again multiple times that evening while holding tonight’s special in his other hand.

Whatever sense of control he had immediately dissipated as the alcohol began taking effect, Andrei coming to the realization that he hadn’t gotten drunk since last summer. Perhaps he had gone a little too far, a little too early.

This is how you got yanked out of your focus, the loud ringtone of your phone stopping the classical music that accompanied you as you finished your paper.

Puzzled as to who in the world could have been calling you at such an ungodly hour, you grabbed your phone, surprised at seeing Jarvy’s name light up your screen.

“Hello?” you answered, your heart's pace moderately picking up, considering the time of night.

“Hey! Y/N! What’s up?” he yelled, his voice standing out from the sounds of people and music in the background.

“Um, not much, just studying.” you said, slightly annoyed. 

You actually had to hold yourself back from spouting out “No, I don’t want to go out. Not tonight.”

“Cool, cool, uh, sorry to bother you, but we kinda need your help.”

“What’s going on?” you asked, sitting up in your chair.

“The boys and I came out to celebrate tonight, and um, your best friend Svech here is a little too drunk.”

“hello, it’s your best friend svech here!”

That was definitely Andrei you just heard yelling in the background of the phone call, and from the tone of voice, volume, and slur of the words, Seth wasn’t kidding. After some giggles, he continued.

“We were planning to stay out pretty late today, seeing as how we don’t have anything this weekend, but Andrei really needs to get home. I have never seen him this drunk, to be really honest with you. Do you think you could help us out and get him home?”

You sighed, looking at your desk, covered in notecards and books. 

“Um, let me think.” you muttered, fooling yourself that you were thinking about it.

“For sure, for sure. He just keeps asking about you; he basically forced me to call you, and I think that’s because he cannot use his phone right now if he wanted to.”

“Geez, okay, okay.” you said. “Can you send me the address and I’ll find a ride there? I’m guessing he doesn’t want his car to stay there overnight.” 

“Probably not, yeah.” he laughed. 

You swore you heard someone utter that “she’s coming, she’s coming.” in the background before you both hung up. 

It was going to be a long night.

Your friend was kind enough to give you a ride to the bar. For some reason, nerves started to bubble up in your stomach on your way there. You wondered if it was because of how underdressed you were, just a T-shirt and jeans to a snazzy, Canes-worthy bar.

Perhaps it had something to do with the way you really felt about Andrei. 

But that was a place you never went to. 

Nope. 

And tonight was definitely not going to be the time to confront that.

Walking into the bar, it didn’t take you long to realize you hadn’t been wrong. This was not the usual environment you were used to going to, not even with Andrei. It didn’t take long for you to find the group of friends, thanks to Andrei.

“Oh, I cannot believe you’re here.” he slurred. “You came here for me?”

“Just for you, Drei.”

“Oh, oh my god. Come here.” he said, wrapping his biceps around your neck. 

“Take a shot with me” he whispered in your ear.

“No, no, no more shots.” you said. “I gotta take you home.”

“Oh, no fun, cmon. Just one. I was the star, Y/N. I don’t make you proud?”

“You did amazing, Svech. You made me very proud.”

Andrei’s expression changed, his eyes staring deeply into you with his bottom lip securely tucked in his mouth.

“Okay, troublemaker. Let’s get you home.” you said, confused. 

Why was he looking at you…like that?

“But, but you will be nice to me?” he said, looking deeper into you.

“When have I not?”

“Oh, you right, you right. You’re always so good to me, I love you so much, come here.”  Andrei went on, pushing your head into the crook of his neck again. 

The look that the guys were giving you as you were in the embrace made your eyes roll. What was going on tonight?

“Uh, here’s Andrei’s keys.” you heard Brady say as soon as he let you go. “I took them from him, just in case.”

“Thanks, Brady. He doesn’t have anywhere to be tomorrow, right?”

“No, he can sleep in. God knows he’ll probably need it.” he chuckled. 

“Sounds good. I think we should probably get going, before he ge-

“Andrei! Stop!” Brady interrupted you midsentence, your head snapping back just to find Andrei taking down another shot. 

“Andrei, no more! You’re going to get sick!” you said, taking the glass again from the giggling, grown 6’3 man standing in front of you.

“It’s because you didn’t do any, I had to do one for you.” he slurred, in between giggles. The drink had spilled all over his chin - this was getting worse.

“Alright, we’re leaving dude. Say goodbye.”

“Boys!” Andrei was met with cheers as he turned around with open arms to say goodbye to his teammates, who gave him a big group hug. You couldn’t help but smile a little bit. 

He was… so wasted. 

So, so wasted, you thought to yourself, watching him kiss Sebastian on the head before stumbling over to you.

“Can you walk?” 

“I, I can walk.” he said. It was inevitable that his eyes were darting around the room for balance, however.

“Are you sure, Andrei?”

“Okay, maybe not too well.”

“Come. Hold onto me.” you instructed him, wrapping his forearm around your shoulders. He was definitely leaning a little too much weight onto you, but the car wasn’t too far away, and he simply could not walk in a straight line at the moment. 

Andrei sighed as the cold air hit his face. He ran hot, and the liquor had only raised his temperature more. 

“Oh, wait, wait. That feels good.” he said, stopping in his tracks. 

“What does?” you giggled, looking up at him. 

“I’m so hot, wait, wait.”. He forced himself to stay on his own two feet as he moved his hands to his shirt, unbuttoning his sweaty baby blue button-up all the way down, his silky abs peeking through. Unfortunately for you, you were caught staring.

“That’s better, is it not, Y/N?” he said, looking up at you with a smirk.

“Do you feel better now?” you responded, your eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“Oh, so much better, so hot in there.” he said, throwing his weight on top of you again.

You made it through the parking lot unscathed, even though you were 85% sure that Andrei’s eyes were closed as he slurred incoherent sayings all the way throughout.

“Oh, you’re so beautiful, Y/N.” he said, as you finally opened the passenger door and helped him sit. His eyes weren’t leaving your face as you bent over to fasten his seatbelt. 

“You are so nice to me.” he said, caressing your arm sloppily when you made sure his feet were facing forward. 

“Of course I’m nice to you, Svech. Let’s get you home, alright?” you said, looking at him from outside of the car.

“Oh, wow, that’s so nice. So, so nice. I want to kiss you so badly.” 

The declaration stopped you dead in your tracks, your hand freezing on the car door. It was basically impossible to read him, considering he was so drunk that his head was thrown back into the seat, with his eyes closed and the goofiest smile on his face. 

“Yes, please, let me give you a kiss.” he repeated, bringing his index finger to his cheek. 

Oh. 

That type of kiss. 

Disappointment washed over you, as well as relief, surprisingly, as you leaned down. Andrei grabbed your chin hard and began placing kisses all over your cheek, covering your face with them and of course, more giggles that reverberated on your skin. 

“Alright, uh, thank you, Drei.” you uttered, leaning back out of the car, carefully. 

“No, no, no thank you. It’s how I say thank you. Like that.” he giggled, reaching to weakly poke your cheek. You shook your head before shutting the door, taking deep breaths before getting behind Andrei’s wheel. 

The air in the car felt different. You had hung out with Andrei countless times, gotten this drunk and probably even more, and he had never acted this way before. From the moment you walked into the bar you knew, something had shifted. It wasn’t necessarily a bad shift, but you couldn’t put your finger on it and it made you feel uneasy. 

Or maybe it was that Andrei usually took over most of your thoughts whenever you weren’t buried under a pile of books and papers, and the fact that you pushed that away as much as you could. 

Seeing him act so cuddly and loving towards you felt good, but it was fanning the flames of an unrequited crush, and quite honestly, it was really depressing. 

To know that you had those feelings for him, as buried as they were, and you were stuck in the seat of his car taking care of him like a best friend. 

It really was not helping that his eyes hadn’t left you the whole night, but you figured that it was best to blame it on the liquor. 

There was absolutely no way it was anything else.

“You’re so quiet, Y/N.” Andrei said, still facing you.

“I’m trying to focus here, Svech. Your car is a lot faster than the piece of shit I drive.”

“You like it? It’s nice car, huh?” he said, rubbing his fingers on the headrest, his bicep flexing through the thin fabric of his dress shirt. 

“It’s a lovely car.” you said, telling yourself to just keep your eyes on the road. It felt wrong to gawk at him when he was in such a state, anyways. 

“Yeah, I knew you liked it. I thought of you when I got it.”

“Wait, what?” you exclaimed. 

“Yeah. Maybe I shouldn’t say, but I thought maybe she thinks I’m cool with this car.” he said. His voice had gone from excited to a lazy, almost sultry way of slurring his words. Truly, you just hoped he wouldn’t fall asleep in the car. 

And with that, it really hit you. 

Another strange, unexpected confession.

“I didn’t think you’d consider me in your car buying process, Svech.” you said, momentarily looking at him. 

He was definitely getting sleepy, and it wasn’t hard to tell considering how much he was sliding down the seat. It was making his flushed abdomen flex in such a deli-

The road. Focus on the road. 

“I think about you all the time.” he whispered, finally snapping his head back forward.

Your heart was beating completely out of your chest. 

You knew you were just framing this wrong, that he didn’t mean any of this like that, but you couldn’t help but get nervous at all of it. It was just the way he was looking at you was making you even more jittery, his brown, chocolate eyes had burned a hole into you ever since you walked into that bar. 

Thankfully for you, you had arrived.

“Well, here we are. Let’s go rest.” you said, getting out of the car impossibly fast. Before you could walk over to the passenger door to help him, you found Andrei leaning on the car, his head resting on the top of it. 

“No, no, no, Andrei, c’mon.” you said, running over to him. “Sleep in bed, love. Not here.”

Andrei’s head perked up, once again throwing his arm (and a LOT of his weight) on your shoulders.

“I like it when you call me love. I’m going to call you that now.” he said, slopping walking towards his door. 

You couldn’t believe you had gotten him in one piece into his house, but there you were. Now it was only a question of time before he fell asleep and you could go back to your regular. He’d probably forget the whole thing the next day, and that was a good thing. 

Andrei managed to somehow run as soon as the door opened, sprinting sloppily with dragged feet to his refrigerator. 

“You could have seriously hurt yourself.” you said, sneaking up behind him. Andrei turned around, his mouth full of the leftover burrito he snatched from the fridge. 

“Love, oh love, this is so good. Here, try it.” he said, his mouth full as he shoved the burrito in your face. 

Seeing him like this, you couldn’t help but smirk. 

It had been a while since you’d seen him so disheveled: the open shirt, the sweat and flush on his face, guac dripping from the side of his mouth. It always made you happy to see him so relaxed. 

You tentatively leaned forward and took a bite of the cold Mexican food, giggling as you saw his eyes light up. 

“That’s good, yes.” you laughed, watching him inhale another gigantic bite.

“Did you see, love, I won the star?” he kept babbling on, his eyes focused on his meal. 

“You got first star, yes, Andrei.” you chuckled, placing a cold hand to your forehead.

“I did good, yes?” 

“You did amazing.”

Andrei proceeded to lift up his arms in victory, a glop of salsa splattering right on his white dress shirt. 

“Oh, shit.” he said. 

You swore he gave you a cocky smirk before taking the shirt off, leaving him fully shirtless, his freckled skin still damp and red from the alcohol.

“Um, let’s get you to bed, Svech.” you uttered as he started slowly walking towards you, throwing the burrito wrapper on the floor. 

Andrei wrapped his big arms around your neck once again; he smelled like sweat, and bar, and alcohol, but you didn’t care, choosing to stay involved in his physical presence as much as you could for tonight. 

“I was the first star for you.” he said, placing a kiss on your temple. 

“Thanks, Andrei.” you whispered, looking up at his gaze, intuitively attempting to read his intentions. You had been touchy before, and Andrei was a clingy friend in general, but never this relentless and… forward. 

“Let’s go upstairs.” he whispered, placing a kiss on your head. 

The best outcome to this was him just falling asleep as soon as he hit his mattress, honestly. 

Tomorrow this will all be another memory that you’d have to hide and try to forget. Another event you read wrong. 

“Baby, I won the game, baby.” Andrei said, his eyes closed, as soon as you got him into his bedroom.

“Yep.” you said, coldly, impatient for him to get to sleep already so you could leave as soon as possible. 

“I won, baby! I won the game!” he repeated while you adjusted his unmade bed. 

“You did win.”

“Why you ignore my pet names, huh?” he said, wrapping his arms around you, and engulfing your body from the back.

“Because you’re wasted! You need to sleep!”

“But you’re my baby.”

“Yes, yes. I’m your baby. Now let’s get your pants off.”

“Yeah, that’s right.” he said smugly. 

“Oh, shush.”

You managed to get his shoes off in quite a record time and with no injuries, same with his pants. You never imagined that you’d be in this position, and honestly, you wished the context was different. As his legs came into vision, you dreamed how you’d like it if you were both sober, him just as clingy and affectionate. 

But that wasn’t the case, and it felt wrong to fantasize when he was like this, so you snapped out of it quickly. You were caught by surprise when you came face to face with him, his gaze already on you. You sighed and looked away, thinking about the next step. But Andrei couldn’t hold himself back anymore. 

“I wish you were my real baby.” Andrei whispered, running his thumb down your cheek as you reached over to undo his chain. “My real girl.”

You were unbelievably close now, his heaving chest grazing yours as you attempted to undo the clasp without looking up at him. 

“I am a real girl, Andrei.” you said, turning away swiftly from him to place the piece of jewelry on the nightstand just as quickly as it was off. 

Avoid, avoid, avoid.

“No, I me-”

“Get in here.” you said, holding his comforter up. Andrei's head fell forward, almost comically, as he stomped over and slithered under his covers. 

“Now, do you keep this on even when you sleep?” you teased him, poking at his cap as soon as he was settled in bed. 

Andrei’s face changed to a dark red as you pulled the hat off his head, a dorky smile now looking up at you.

“There we go. That’s better.” you whispered, unconsciously running your hand through his soft hair. It was hard to stop; you had dreamed about doing this every night almost. 

“If you keep doing that, I’m going to have to kiss you.”

“You got way too wasted tonight, Drei. You won’t remember but you’ve been speaking nonsense ever since I went to get you.”

“I’m serious, Y/N.”

“Andrei…”

Andrei’s hands snapped up, fast and unexpectedly pulling your face into his into a deep kiss. It was so surprising that you had no reaction initially, eventually letting yourself melt into him. He kissed you passionately, moving his lips to feel every single inch of yours over and over again. The more he gave you, the more he softened you, your body finding a place to sit on the bed to become more enveloped in him. 

“An-”

“Listen to me, now. Your turn to listen to me.” he said, interrupting you as he barely pulled away. 

“I don’t think I am brave enough to say, but now I am. I like you. I want you. I want you to be mine only. My girl. My girlfriend.” he uttered before his eyes went back down to your mouth, ultimately pulling you in for another kiss. 

“How you cannot see? I only want to see you every day. No other girl, I have felt like this before. Please, baby.” he said, in between kisses. 

“I know you feel the same way, I know it. I see how you look at me, but I don’t understand why you won’t say it to me. Come on, baby, look at how you’re kissing me.”

“I, I’m scared, Andrei. I don’t want to ruin anything.”

“Baby, you will not ruin anything. It will be so amazing now. You will make me the happiest man. Yeah?”

“...Yeah” you whispered into him, nodding your head and feeling the tip of his nose rub against yours. 

“Yeah, baby!” he exclaimed against your lips before pulling you in countless times. 

“I don’t really think you’re going to remember this tomorrow, but, we’ll see.” you sighed, anxiety running through your veins.

“I am not forgetting this, no way. I know I will remember this. Come into bed with me now.” he said, happily patting the empty spot next to you. 

You weren’t sure you were processing everything that was happening as you got under the covers with him, his arms coming towards you to pull you closer. 

Time seemed to stop as your bodies touched, minutes ticking by as you stared at each other’s blushed faces. 

“I want another one.” he whispered, leaning down towards your mouth before you could pull back. 

“You’re still drunk.”

“Not as drunk as you think I am.”

“What?”

“You thought I couldn’t do this?” he said, placing the tips of his fingers on his nose repeatedly. There was no way he had enough coordination to do that.

“Did you trick me, Svechnikov?”

“Maybe I took advantage of how I was feeling. The room is still spinny though.” 

“That’s what I thought.” you chuckled, shaking your head in disbelief. 

“Do you promise you’ll still kiss me when I’m sober tomorrow?”

“I promise. I promise.”

[skz-streamer]

Forever Young

Simptober Romance Tropes M-list

Pairing: Felix (skz) x fem!reader

Genre: Fluff

Notes: did I use a Blackpink song? Yes.

-please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately face claims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You had known each other through a mutual friend

you met together at a cafe w some other friends

you and your friend were planning to go on a camping trip but you needed at least 6 people for the trip

your friend said she had some other people she could rope in so you said yes

so you were sitting in a cafe with your friend waiting for the newcomers to arrive

one girl and and three boys walk in together in a group

your friend waves to them and you smile shyly

they all turn out to be really nice, especially one guy. Felix

as you plan the trip you set the date for next week

As the week approached you had previously swapped some phone numbers with the new people that came

while you texted some of them you mostly texted Felix

in fact he was the one to text you first

you ended up texting him day and night, it was like the two of you had an instant click

and just over a weeks time you two had gotten insanely close

by the time the trip came a round the two of you spent literally every-moment together

it was like you had immediately spotted your missing piece

almost like a soulmate...

it felt weird to catch feelings so quick but in a months time you were head over heels for him

and he was too

From the moment Felix saw you he thought you were cute

that's why he eagerly asked you for your number and texted you literally the same day he had gotten it

he had hoped to get close to you in a quick matter of time, gosh you were just so pretty to him

after the trip it was like he was such a heartthrob for you

there literally wasn't a moment in his day when he didn't think about you

texting calling, holding, kissing, cuddling

he just wanted you

he hoped you wanted him back

About 2 ish weeks after the camping trip you got a text from Felix asking if you wanted to meet up somewhere for lunch

was he asking you out? no way,,,,right?

You decided to meet at a small restaurant

you decided to dress nice, I mean why not right?

it wasn't like he was gonna ask you out or anything.....

you sprayed you favorite perfume before running out of the door and rushing to your car

you reached the restaurant a little late but gladly there was a small wait time

you spotted Felix sitting outside

he looked good

he was wearing pale beige cargo pants and a lightblue hoodie with the words Seaside on it

cute you thought

somehow your white sundress seemed to match his outfit perfectly

you sat down next to him and made some small talk

when the waiter came to lead you to the table you linked you arms in Felix's to get up

he hugged you into him

once you sat at the table Felix immediately broke the silence

I like you.

you were bit shocked but flustered at his words

you held you hand out form on top of the table

me too... you said trailing off your words

you felt like a kid who was just told they could get any toy they wanted

so is this our first date? he asked

you giggled and you giggle turned into a laugh as the two of you burst. out laughing from the awkward tension

the waiter walked up to your table, asking what you would like to drink

you cleared your throat and smiled

I'll just have a water, and my boyfriend,... uhh

what do you want lixie?

he smiled back at you, a blush creeping up on his cheeks

uhh yea, a water works for me too he said back

lixe? he asked you

yea, thought it was cute, you said pouting a little

he smiled and grabbed your hand from under the table

I know its too early, heck its kinda weird to say,,, but I love you.

you squeezed his hand back you knew you loved him, something inside you just clicked with him

I love you too lixie, I knew it from the moment I saw you

and with that he lifted you hand from under the table and gave it a light kiss

@anny-bah@eee5533@mixtape-racha@weedforthoughtz@ren0325@felixvsp@hwangrimi @sanriiolino @painstakingly-juno@herarcadewasteland@dabiscrustyfeet@kai-jilee@sungiesoonie@slvtty4channiee@revelaffee@buckys-pillow, @staygirl86 @chlodavids@jinnie-ret@bbygrlhannie@rebecca-johnson-28 @turtledove824@interstellarairwaves@yearofthetiger25@minhos4thkitty@fiqire@kpopmenace143@liknws@tinyelfperson@aaasia111@yangbbokari@hafsah-ali@sleepyleeji@skzhoes@yamaguchiwestad@leonswifesstuff@nappynapnaps

[angsty-twihardxx]

I’ve seen a lot of dbf!joel and was wondering if you’d write a dbf!tommy as there aren’t any and I absolutely adore your writing style x

RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU | T. Miller

dbf! Tommy Miller x fem!reader

A/N: THANK YOU I LOVE YOU AND THIS IDEA. I have been tinkering with this idea for a while because there are no dbf! fics for this man and he deserves it, let’s be real he’s a horn bag and a tease i just uh-😩 also I would love to do multiple of these or even a series, plz let me know what y’all think and send ideas.

Feel free to gander at my masterlist if you like x

Warnings: 18+ (minors go away), PnV, age gap (reader is 21) basically porn with little plot. This is NOT edited I very much rushed it no apologies.

You remembered the first night that you met Tommy, he was leaning against the bar with your Dad who beckoned you over. The dining hall was cramped which wasn’t new on a Saturday night, you had mainly come because your dad mentioned a new member that he found on patrol. Usually you dreaded it, but when you saw him across the room you had a change of heart.

His black curls sat on his shoulders when he turned to face you, his lips curving up to give you a wide smile— which you returned quickly. His smile suited him, making his honey brown eyes squint. “Nice t’meet you, m’Tommy.” He spoke lowly, his Texan drawl catching you by surprise as he extended his hand out for you to shake.

You didn’t expect the accent, at first. It made sense though, the more you thought about it he did seem like the cowboy type. You tried your best not to over think how his hands felt enveloping yours, how much bigger his hands were compared to yours.

But that night was a long time ago. When it was merely just a crush on an older man that was friends with your Dad, which developed the more and more you saw him— which ended up being a lot.

Early in the morning’s were now filled with his presence, always standing with a mug full of coffee as he leaned against the kitchen island talking to your parents. The muscles under his button up sleeves flexed as he moved the mug up to meet his lips.

How was he actually so perfect? It wasn’t fair.

But now your feelings had developed, becoming more filled with desire and need. You were a women now, with womanly needs that weren’t being met with the boys your age. It’s not their fault though, newly developed minds bodies that was being pumped with hormones made them awkward and well— quick.

Its not like there were any classes going around for this kind of stuff in Jackson, but you just knew that you needed more.

Maybe it was some undiagnosed daddy issues that had you interested in the younger Miller brother. You could just tell that Tommy knew what to do when it came to sex, after ‘accidentally’ overhearing him drunkenly spew his past life to your father as the two got into a bottle of whiskey, he seemed to be quite the man-whore back in the day. You imagined what he’d be like fucking you, whether he’d be gentle or if he’d pound into you relentlessly till you were screaming his name.

And he knew it too, the smug bastard.

It made the blood in his body rush to his cock seeing you look so flustered from something as simple as a ‘mornin’ darlin’ when he’d see you first thing in your kitchen. When you’d descend down the stairs in your tiny pyjamas, he had to force his gaze off of you when he realised he was staring. He imagined what the soft flesh of your ass would feel like in between his fingers.

Everything about this was wrong, SO WRONG— but yet, neither of you could stop.

. . .

A cool breeze crept in through the ajar open that you sat beside in your living room, book in your lap. Taking the liberties of enjoying the large empty house on your own, which seemed to be happening more and more often lately. You had finished patrol only a few hours ago, thankfully it had been quiet and you were partnered with Eugene. The older man was well liked by you and your friends, mainly for his secret underground weed bunker.

Which is what led you to this point, leaning against your window as you blew out the smoke from your joint.

“Should you really be doin’ that n’here?” Tommy’s voice ripped your attention from your book, he was leaning against the entrance. His denim coat was covered in a thin layer of sawdust, you remembered him mentioning building a new set of homes over breakfast yesterday. “Well, last I checked the smoke detectors don’t work so—“

Your shoulders fell, a huff of air falling from Tommy’s nostrils in amusement. Dragging his palm along his hand he moved to sit beside you on the sofa, just enough space between you. It wasn’t unusual for Tommy to come check on you when your parents were away, whether it was because he wanted to or because he was asked to by your parents was another thing.

You felt butterflies as you thought about the domesticity of your situation right now, the thought of being the first thing he saw every night after work. Being able to ask him how his day was while the two of you ate dinner together.

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” Tommy sighed, rubbing his fingers through his sweat damp curls. Even after working all day in the heat he still looked fucken amazing—it wasn’t fair. You extended out your arm, holding out the lit joint in front of him to take. An unspoken invitation, which he declined. Muttering something to you about working in the morning.

“C’mon it’s not like you have to worry about a drug test in the morning.” Tommy’s brows burrowed in confusion, before deciding to just take the joint from you. Your breathing hitched as his calloused fingers tangled in yours, taking ahold of the still lit joint in your fingers. “How the hell you even know about that?”

“Eugene was telling me about it today.” You smiled proudly, watching as his lips pursed around the hand rolled paper.

Everything about him just made you want him more, the way his dark curls sat on top of his broad shoulders as he leaned his head back. You wondered what they would feel like with your fingers brushing them back, would it really be so wrong for you to test the waters? You were an adult, and a mature one at that.

. . .

Maybe it was the weed that blurred Tommy’s judgement, the longer the two of you sat together engrossed in casual conversation. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of your exposed thighs, the shorts doing very little to cover you. Giving him the perfect view to admire your soft supple skin.

Stretching his arm out Tommy let it fall down to the back of the chair, his hand now grazing the soft exposed skin on your arm. Goosebumps form on your skin, burning from his grazing fingers.

He loved how you shuddered from his touch, he could only imagine what how wet you were from just one touch. Tommy doubted that anyone your age could please you the way he would. He always noticed how they watched you, none of them new the first thing when it came to pleasing a woman.

“So have you uh-been seein any boys around here?”

“Not at the moment, but I uh— have an eye on someone at the moment.” Your sultry voice only made Tommy’s blood rush to his cock, you had no idea the affect you had on him. “Oh really?”

“Yeah he’s a little bit older than me, but I don’t mind.” You teased, exhaling a breath of smoke that danced in the so between you both. A cheeky smirk plastered on your face, you knew exactly what you were doing. “That right sweetheart?”

Without another second of teasing glances and lingering hands, cupping his stubbled cheeks in your hands you pushed your lips together. A small whine left your mouth as he pressed back, with even more of a fever.

“Tommy—“ You whined against his kiss swollen lips, savouring how his tongue darted to dance with yours. It was everything that you thought it would be, the way soft lips kissed into you roughly it only got you hornier. His facial hair scratched the underside of your palm, his curls were soft as you dragged your hands to the back of his neck. The wetness pooling in your underwear was only growing.

“God, this is wrong.” Tommy groaned in between kisses, he shouldn’t be doing this, with one of his closest friends daughter. Friends were hard to come by these days, especially good ones like your dad. He took him in and gave him a purpose again in Jackson. Yet here he was, his tongue down his daughters throat.

“If it’s so wrong— then stop.”

This emitted a playful growl from Tommy as he moved to nip the soft skin of neck with his teeth. He was already to deep into this, no backing out now. “S’that what you want sweetheart?” Tommy dared to ask, maybe you had changed your mind about the whole thing, but was pleasantly surprised when you shook your head, your lips never leaving his.

“Absolutely not.”

Tommy’s strong hands lifted you up as he held you up around his middle, his fingers kneaded the doughy skin of your ass. Your legs instinctively wrapped wrapped around his waist as he lifted you off the sofa. It felt so surreal to you, Tommy’s hands felt exactly how you imagined them. All those years of working as a contractor meant his palms were rough and calloused, you needed this hands to explore all over your body.

Tommy made quick work of taking long strides to get to your bedroom as quickly as possible, the same bedroom that he would pass every morning to join your family for breakfast.

Never did he think he’d be on the other side of the door, regardless of the many times he thought about it. Fucking you relentlessly in your room, your faced pushed into your pillow while your parents were completely clueless downstairs.

You let out a shocked gasp as your back made contact with the bed, Tommy quickly climbed up on the bed to hover above you. His elbows propped by your head as he leaned down to pant his lips onto you again, all you could think about was his erection pocking against you thigh through his jeans. “Tommy-“ You whined as your hips bucked into him,

“Need you Tommy.”

“Don’t worry baby, ‘gonna take care of you.” Tommy trailed his fingers down till they dug themselves under the waistband of your underwear. Your skin felt like it was on fire, you needed him now. In one swift motion your pants were pulled off of you, Tommy let out a sharp breath of admiration.

You watch as he fumbles with his belt, before once again pulling off his jeans without hesitation. His cock springing to life before you, and fuck was he big.

“Y’alright?” He looked back up at you with all seriousness, to which you nodded quickly.

“Oh fuck!” You gasped out as your eyes squeezed shut, feeling him fill you up was almost overwhelming. You always imagined him having a huge dick, when he would sit with his legs wide open. Now it was actually happening you felt like he was going to tear you in two.

The blissful sting was quickly quickly replaced with pleasure as he slowly eased himself into you, his hips rolling into yours.

“That’s it baby girl, takin’ me so well.” He muttered softly into your ear, his hot breath had the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. His praises had your hips bucking against his, driving his cock into you deeper.

He already had you in a puddle of gasps and moans, your mouth failing you anytime that you tried to speak. Your stomach was in knots, feeling your orgasm beginning to approach you wrapped your arms around Tommy’s neck. Pushing his face down to meet your lips once again. His herbal soap mixed with the salty sweat forming on his back, all your senses were taken up by Tommy.

“S’fucken amazing baby.” He groaned against your lips, his own pace beginning to falter. Your head fell back as the pleasure grew more intense, feeling your stomach tightening as his pace quickened. “Fuck Tommy, I’m gonna come!”

“Come f’me darlin, that’s it.” He whispered softly moving his lips to kiss along the soft skin of your neck, which was enough to send you over the edge. Your body shuddered as your orgasm rolled through you, feeling the jolt of electricity course through you as your vision went white.

“That’s it baby, good girl.”

A animalistic groan erupted from deep inside Tommy’s throat, right before he was about to come he pulled out. His sweat-covered forehead fell to rest on your still heaving chest, the two of you merely laid silent for a moment. You couldn’t form any thoughts besides the fact that Tommy just fucked you—in your bed!

After a few moments Tommy lifted himself off of you, the mattress dipping as he fell beside you. “Y’alright? That wasn’t too much f’you?”

“Are you kidding me? It was amazing.” You exasperated as you rolled onto your side to face him, your flushed cheeks pinched into a smile. “Y’know Tommy, it’s just going to be me on my own in this house.” Your head tilted to fall onto his chest, a playful smirk plastered on your face as you waited for his reaction. “Oh is that right?” Tommy feigned ignorance, a wide smile on his face. “Might need some company, s’that what you mean?”

“Thats exactly what I mean.”

[your-nanas-house]

Hey, been quite a while since I follow you, maybe almost a year. Can you maybe do a story of your liking about tate langdon?

Could be anything. Thank you!

Hello dear, thanks for following me! I don't think I ever wrote for Tate Langdon, though but I will try to write a small drabble. You're welcome, darling 🍓❤️

Warm water

◇ Pairing: dark!Tate Langton X older fem!Reader

◇ Warnings: SMUT, age gap (they are both adults), mention of cheating, dubcon, blindfold, ghosts, mention of reader being a mother.

◇ Summary: It was one of your rare free days since your last pregnancy and you had some time for yourself.

◇ Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English.

It was a Sunday morning, you had woken up early to prepare breakfast for your children, Violet and the two twins Peter and Robbie, who were born a few months ago.

Your husband was still asleep in your bed when you got up and started your routine, luckily the children were also still in dreamland and stayed that way for a few hours.

The house came to life shortly after 9am, the children were in the kitchen eating while your husband was talking to your housekeeper, Miss O'Hara, before heading to his office and starting his usual sessions with his patients.

You were busy preparing your baby twins to notice that he didn’t even gave you the usual morning kiss, not that you minded that much though.

It was a busy day that day, the kids were going out, the twins to a baby party and Violet to her classmates for a sleepover so the house was all yours and your husband's.

Ben, your husband, usually worked till 6pm so you had most of the day just for yourself since miss O'Hara assured you that she would have cleaned herself the house.

Thats why you prepared a warm bath, filled with bubbles and an amazing perfume that you really enjoyed; you searched the perfect temperature before starting to slowly undress, getting ride of your pajamas as you watched yourself in the mirror.

A lot of things changed after your pregnancy and one of those was your body, you didn't mind it, it made you look like one of those hot milf but you missed sometimes the body you used to have— with this though you stepped in the warm water, lying slowly in the bubbles as you leaded your head back on the tub.

It was nice, the warm water was working its magic on your sore muscles and the sweet perfume of the soap you were using was putting you in a good mood— you were like lost in your own little world, your eyes closed and mouth slightly open as your scratched softly your own head to wash your hair.

It wasn't log after your alone time started that the door of the bathroom opened, someone moved closer to your relaxed body and blindfolded you without warning— the music went a bit louder but still low enough to make it relaxing but to cover every sound outside.

Thats when you felt his hand, touching first your legs and slowly up to your thighs making your back arch and hum since you thought that it was your husband

"Oh, darling—" you whispered, feeling long fingers slide inside of your waiting folds, curling and thrusting in a pleasurable way; something felt odd though, his fingers weren't like you remember them but you were too focused on the pleasure to mind it.

Even when your hands grabbed his board back as he thrusted his hard rock cock inside of you, starting to move slow but deep thanks to the warm water of the tub— there too, was something wrong.

He felt different, thicker and quite unexperienced, his thrusts were sloppy and his groans low and seducing. You were really loving it, expecially when the pace got faster, the water spilling out on the bathroom floor as your legs went on his shoulder and the blindfold fell in the water.

Your eyes met quickly Tate's one, his face was twisted in pleasure just like yours, his big rough hands were kneading your breasts while his hips snapped harder against yours.

Your back arched, your eyes got wide, and your jaw dropped at the sudden pleasure. You didn't manage to praise him or anything, the only thing that left your pretty lips before you reached your peak was his name

"Tate—"

After that, he disappeared, leaving you all alone in your warm bath and your sore abused pussy; the post-orgasm effects still there, clouding your mind.

Taglist:

@gabile18 , @mrsfullbuster500 , @rex-ray , @elizamalfoyy, @eovjjj , @wife-of-magic-monkeys , @jeremiah-va1eska , @gothamchic16, @rabbiteggz , @dieg0brandos-wife , @rottenecstasy , @lazyexcuse , @teh-vampire-bunny , @lobotomy-lover , @slasher-smasher , @sleepycreativewriter

[i-willstealyourtoes]

HIIII!! I wanted to request something for Ninjago since I saw you're requests were open!!

So basically PLATONIC hcs where the ninja have a younger sibling who is the reader(gn!) and the reader has tiny anger issues and during a mission their anger gets out if control and they accidentally hurt someone. So its up to the ninja to calm down their younger sibling so they don't do more harm. They can be related or just a big sibling figure for the reader!

OKAY THATS KINDA IT I TRIED MAKING IT AS SPECIFIC AS POSSIBLE REMEMBER TO GET SOME REST AND YOU ARE LOVED❤️❤️❤️🦙

This is my first Ninjago request pls wish me luck fr-

Idk if you wanted Nya too but I didn't include her bc I feel like I've already taken too long on this 😔

Ninjas with a sibling with anger issues

Kai

- Totally gets the whole anger thing

- I mean, have you seen this man

- Especially if it's early on in the show he definitely relates to just giving into the feeling

- So he'd probably keep a hand on your shoulder and hold you back

- "Hey, kid? Maybe, just, take a breather, okay?"

- If you push past him and hurt someone, he'd definitely be more stern about it and pull you back before you do anything else

- "Hey! That's not how we do things (Y/n)!"

- He usually calls you by any sort of teasing nickname, but he needs to be serious about this if you're harming someone who doesn't deserve it

- He knows you don't mean it, but it doesn't change the fact that you still did it

- As your all going home, he'd probably give you a talk

- "Listen, I- I get it okay? I totally do."

- After talking to you, he'd probably be the one to hold your wrist (gently) and keep you from doing anything rash

Zane

- Takes notes on what triggers your anger and makes sure to try avoid it or hold you back

- Also takes notes on what calming techniques work and what doesn't

- The first time it happens and you hurt someone he'd try verbally communicate with you

- "(Y/n), this isn't right. Why don't you step back and talk to me?"

- Outside of battles, he's probably trying to help you overcome your anger

- If you're willing, he'd be more than happy to just take some time trying to figure out ways for you to work through your anger issues

- He's very happy to see any progress!! Even just a little bit :)

- "It took approximately 4 seconds longer than usual for you to get mad. That's progress..! :]"

Cole

- Definitely gets shocked the first time you get mad

- "WOAH, HEY! (Y/N), STOP-!"

- He'd hold you by the shoulder gently and try calm you down

- As you're going home, he'd try get you to explain what got you mad

- "Listen, if we understand what made you mad, maybe next time we could try avoid it?"

- He kind of understands where you're coming from too?

- I mean he gets mad too so

- Would join Zane in trying to train you to handle it better

- Next time, he's definitely keeping an eye on you during battle to see if you've made any progress + to make sure you don't hurt someone again

- "Hey, nice work kid, you didn't get mad this time!"

Lloyd

- I mean he was quite an angry kid when he was young, so he understands the frustration

- If you're the same age he was in the first season he can totally empathise

- "Hey, hey, it's okay (Y/n), I get it.. I mean, when I was a kid I was just like you...!"

- Obviously it wasn't okay for you to hurt someone but in the heat of the moment it can change your thought process

- And he understands that fully

- If you ever feel overly guilty he's always there to give you a pat on the shoulder and tell you it's okay

- He will absolutely give high-fives if you make any progress at all

- "Hey! That's great kid, you're doing better than I did when I was your age."

- (Why is he speaking like he's 70 💀)

Jay

- Probably gets really worried when you hurt someone and kind of doesn't know how to react initially?

- He'd probably let the others be the first responders, and then he'd help after

- If you were feeling panicked or guilty after the mission, you don't now :)

- He'd just bring out a video game to play or do something with you and try to support you

- "Hey, so... I just wanted to let you know that it's not your fault; I mean, we all get like that sometimes, you know?"

- If anything bad happens while on mission, he's there to reassure you

- "Hey, don't worry, you'll get it next time (Y/n)..!"

- He's confident that you can handle it next time :)